I suggested on PUB that we need a thread for funny quotes, both OOC and IC, and Princess Luna told me to start one, so, here we go!
PUB >> Barnstormer puts on a monster mask and goes to scare BlueFeather. PUB >> Pollyapple says, "BAD BARN." PUB >> Barnstormer awwwws. PUB >> Barnstormer puts on a Nightmare Moon costume now. PUB >> Pollyapple (yays) PUB >> Barnstormer clears her throat, "WE DEMAND ADORATIOn!" PUB >> Barnstormer says, "Ran out of steam on the N there didn't I?" PUB >> The Pony That Flaps In The Night quietly pours her unicorn magic into Barnstormer, filling the imposter with the power of an immortal princess until the earth cracks under her hooves and rocks melt and walls burst into flame if she brushes against them. By empirical measurement, roughly .6 Pollyapples worth.
Applejack says "Say, what's this funny boxamaj-WOAHHHHNELLY!!!"
Applejack just...oh, my. Well, that's done it. Applejack opens Ponydora's Box. Out pours a rush of chaos that assails what seems like every crevasse of every sense all at once! Cringing, Applejack drops the box and falls to she knees, but the damage is done. The wildness of spirit and energy that erupts from the box is terrifying and beautiful, and while its progress can be seen and tasted and felt like a spicy strawberry tsunami of transcendence and fear and wonder, it somehow seems at the same time to be everywhere at once. Before anyone can stop it, all the ponylike qualities that any sentient being could ever hope for are sent forth to suffuse into all the particles of the world. Where once was BODY, now is PONY! Where once was existential angst, now is the purpose of a cutie mark, a personal destiny, and a world devoted to helping each inhabitant reach her or his full potential.
Sky Blue says "Oh, nice job, sugarcube! Ya'll gone and opened Ponydora's-WAIT CAN WE FIT IN THERE?"
PUB >> Almighty Tallest Blue is not affiliated with Pollyapple or its subsidiary Sky Blue. Opinions expressed by Pollyapple do not reflect the views of Princess Luna. Do not ingest Pollyapple, and wash thoroughly after skin contact. When using Pollyapple, ensure the room is well ventilated. Do not allow Pollyapple or Happy Fun Ball within ten feet of each other, and if you do, face away from the rift that opens to avoid eye contact with That Which Lives Within.
<OOC> Rarity closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Goosfraba. Goos. Fra. Ba. "Sweetie Belle. Darling. Do you remember when Rarity threatened you with the sewing Machine? Do not take Rarity's silk. Do not take Rarity's imported bottles of 'feel good drink' do not touch Rarity's diamond dust. I am going to pretend this didn't happen, but I have a VERY important task for you and your friends. You need to go the biiiig building in the middle of town, and when you get there, say the extra special word "Sanctuary." You might need to say this multiple times, until somepony listens to you, and don't stop saying it until somepony DOES listen to you. This is very important."
Rarity trembles where she stands. Trembling with [love and tolerance] for her sibling and her friends. She is absolutely bubbling with 'love' and her eyes glow with an intense and furious level of 'tolerance' that one can only achieve through sisterhood. "My beautiful dresses. That is absolutely..........wonderful. "She sputters, choking on her affection for her sister. "I ...I bet the rest of town could use your services. You should leave this place. You should do that. I am telling you this, Sweetie, because I don't want your talents to go to waste. "She intones, and smiles. Widely. "You would not believe how sure I am on that, idea. Perhaps you can find something to do at Sweet Apple Acres! Or better yet, take Blue Feather to the library with you. She doesn't have a cutie mark either. I'm sure you will become exceedingly good friends. Just remember, Twilight is not actually a doctor, regardless of how convincing she may sound. Do not allow her to touch you."
<OOC> Rarity says, "So far, Rarity has flipped out twice. When she got a rock for christmas, and when her boutique was destroyed on Hearts and Hooves Eve." <OOC> Sweetie_Belle says, "AWWWWWWWWWWW." <OOC> Sweetie_Belle says, "Why did she get a rock for Christmas? D:" <OOC> Rarity says, "Because Luna is a jerk. XD"
You page, "I was like: Yo, Gimmie a #2 with no pickles and onions and give me a Rarity. Cashier looked at me, blinked, then reached under the table and handed it to me. Knew exactly which one was Rarity. XD Didn't have to look at the bag names. I like: *bro hoof?* and she was like: No. XD" to Rarity.
After my trip to McDonald's today where I acquired a Rarity toy.
PUB >> Pollyapple writes a Heartswarming Eve list to Santa Luna. "Ah want a bushel of apples, Chinese food, some new duds, Chinese food, some real nice sauces, Chinese food, some yellow cake uranium, and some Chinese food." PUB >> Luna gives her all of these, but packs them in identical unlabeled Chinese takeout boxes. PUB >> Pollyapple eats the uranium, puts on some kung-pow beef, makes food with the dresses, and mails the rest to herself. PUB >> Luna is pretty sure that will drive Salsa sane with lust. PUB >> Pollyapple says, "Hah. XD" PUB >> Salsa_Verde beadyeyes. PUB >> Luna says, "What think thee, Salsa Verde? How fares to thy taste the image of little Pollyapple covered in sauced beef and fried vegetables, her breath fragrant with radiation as she trots around serving thee a plate of silken lace?" PUB >> Firefly says, "Add you can dine at night, she glows." PUB >> Dusk just wakes up and finds that a quite strange non-sequitur. PUB >> Salsa_Verde considers all things simultaneously. She says nothing, thinking of all the things she'll want to do with Sky this evening. Like [BUY SOME APPLES] or even, if she can get a fresh batch of strawberries, [BUY SOME APPLES]. PUB >> Pollyapple says, "[BUY SOME APPLES]!" PUB >> Scope says, "Yay" PUB >> Luna alas knows that under the first censor bar was 'dry cleaning' and under the second 'prepare the store's inventory for tomorrow'. PUB >> Salsa_Verde knows she is a hopeless romantic. PUB >> Firefly chokes on her apple pie.
"What happened with Sky? Well..." The large unicorn smirks, looking between Cocoa and Chance as he finishes up his scoop of ice cream. "I was assigned to look after her, then when we had some dinner in Canterlot I excused myself to use the restroom and she snuck off and I went into a panic trying to find her. Looked allll around Canterlot until I came here to look, and when I had gotten here she had just had a burning building collapse on her." Scope's eye begins to twitch as he retells his tale, starting to frown "... The next morning she snuck out of the hospital... I galloped around as fast as I could to find her, but then I saw Luna's squire... I don't remember anything after that, until I found myself on the ground not too far from here with her yelling in my face and telling me to snap out of it."