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Post by Apple Bloom on Jul 27, 2012 16:06:04 GMT -5
Dear Senior Bureaucrats of the Equestrian Government, It is with great displeasure I write this report to you today. As you are both aware-- Both you, the Overseer, and you the Senior Economist -- I have accidentally signed on Sky Blue into becoming mayor of a certain major metropolitan center of Equestria. The center in question is Fillydelphia. As a result the new mayor has ordered that the next month be constant storms over the city and that parks be built meters away from toxic waste dumps. And her safety presentation to a school of fillies ended in disaster, she has burned a newly opened scissor factory to the ground, and may have brought Equestria closer to war against Germaney when she landed their esteemed ambassador, an experienced diplomat, in a coma from which she has not yet returned. More personally, these events have lead to further coronal incidents on my part, which is why you have not received my hourly status reports in some time. The quacks doctors insist on me avoiding stress for at least a month. As a result I must request convalescent leave until such time as my tyrannical overlords doctors clear me for duty once more. Furthermore, I have not received your authorization to move my office, storeroom, and department to Ponyville. Do please respond on this matter. O... o-oh dear. Marble Memory Keeper of Artifacts Master of Rituals Filer of Late Study Paperwork
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Post by Firefly on Jul 27, 2012 19:07:27 GMT -5
ROFLS. > : )
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Post by Derpy on Jul 27, 2012 20:40:45 GMT -5
*sniff* Soo proud of Sky child.
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Post by Sky Blue on Jul 28, 2012 10:28:48 GMT -5
*hugs her Derpymommy* Ah'm doin' such a good job!
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Post by Luna on Aug 7, 2012 14:06:30 GMT -5
To Our Most Almost Identifiable Cleric:
When we poked our head into our lead accountant's office to check if he was about, we accidentally encountered thy letter mixed in with the other personnel details in thy file in the bottom drawer of his cabinet, the drawer marked 'PRIVATE'. Fortunately, it turns out we are the ultimate authority over thy actions both professionally and personally, and thus can provide a reply.
First, we bid thee feel at ease in this incident of Fillydelphia. It is the monarchy's longstanding policy to permit the ponies of Equestria to experiment with self-rule as they desire. The circumstances thou describe are typical, and when the ponies of that city come to us to seek restoration of the Royal Family's rule we will depose the interloper. By then, they will likely be grateful if we put Cadence in charge.
Second, we are concerned by the extensive leave thou are taking. Certainly Celestia values thy health, but it would seem that with Pollyapple out on the East Coast thy nerves should be sprightly and benign. Like the hermit crab, it is ill conducive to the balance of thy humors to be taken away from thy nest in the palace. Furthermore, we have heard thee are mixing with fillies of questionable reputation, possibly a vaudeville actress or some such. We are stopping short of ordering thy immediate return, and instead find enclosed a brand new artifact we have enchanted. We call it Form Infinite Recursion. The more thee fill it out, the more it alters to create new questions for thee to fill out. It is our intent that this gift be therapeutic, and thee in no way read some kind of hint into our letter that if it is not fully filled out properly we shall release thy hire.
Thirdly, thy application to move thy office to Ponyville is denied.
Fourthly, it has been brought to our attention that part three of this letter was somewhat hasty. Thy primary duty is to collect, sort, and maintain our royal collection of artifacts. It is difficult to imagine how that could be done in Ponyville, particularly if we needed to get our hooves on one at short notice. If thee wish such a transfer, be prepared to provide an extremely convincing rationale.
Fifthly, we do not recall a lot of rituals lately. Are thee keeping up on ALL thy duties?
In Full Expectation That Our Sister Celestia Will Probably Agree With Most Of This, Thy Nocturnal Ruler, Princess Luna
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