Equestrian Bedtime Stories

[Luna]

I could not help but think that Equestrian fairy tales and legends and children's stories would have to be about their princesses. So I wrote one! I'll put it in the next post, and anyone who has their own can join in.

Blame Sky Blue for coming up with the idea.

[Luna]

    Do any of you foals know anything about trolls? No, of course not. No pony has seen a troll in years. We don't even remember what they look like anymore. All we know about trolls is their hunger. Rapacious, gluttonous, they might have been a kind of goat because they would eat anything at all. Grass, wood, rotting garbage, meat, dirt, anything they could chew they would happily swallow. Including ponies.

    Princess Celestia didn’t like that. Oh, no. Trolls were a monster race, enemies of ponies and Celestia. They hated her, like all the monster races do. Festering with hatred, one day the king of the trolls came up with a plan. He would invite Celestia to eat dinner with him and discuss a permanent peace between trolls and ponies.

    It was a trap, naturally. Oh, they couldn’t hurt Celestia. The troll king and his whole army couldn’t hope to do that! Why, they might as well try to pluck the sun from the sky. They would only get burned.

    Still, it was a trap. You see, Celestia is as kind as a warm spring day, and she would always be willing to talk peace. She is everything graceful and beautiful and polite, and the trolls meant to embarrass her with their crude and awful dinner. To humiliate Celestia would be a big victory to the monster races, because they are mean and spiteful creatures.

    So the king of the trolls sent his invitation, and the day arrived, but Celestia did not show up. She did not show up for breakfast. She did not show up for lunch. They laid on supper, and still she did not show up. The trolls began to joke that even mighty Celestia was too scared to eat dinner with them, but then the sun went down. As the moon rose, their guest arrived – not Princess Celestia, but Princess Luna.

    “The ruler of Equestria has accepted your invitation! Let us eat and make merry and discuss peace, troll king!” she declared, and the trolls shook where they stood. The monster races hate Celestia, but they fear Luna. Monsters would own the night if not for her horn and hoof. Instead, they shrink from the moon’s gaze and only ponies can walk the night in safety.

    But after a little thought their trembling ceased. After all, if it would be great to humiliate the Princess of the Day, how much better to humiliate the Princess of the Night?

    “Sit with us, princess! Share a drink!” the troll king urged her. His horrible minions came forward, setting a mug as big as a regular pony in front of Luna, filled with the pungent swill trolls call beer. All the trolls waited eagerly to see her choke on it, but they did not know what every pony knows:

    Princess Luna has no table manners.

    Luna did not show any weakness or disgust that they could laugh at. Rather than shying away, she took the mug in both hooves, drinking it all down in one go with a loud GLUG GLUG GLUG. When she finished, the belch she let out was so loud and long, it knocked the trolls off their feet and flattened the trees around the table!

    Well, that tore it. Their next plan had been to make her wipe her mouth with a filthy rag from the privy, but Luna didn’t ask for one. She grabbed the nearest troll and rubbed the slimy beer from her mouth with him!

    Their plans were in disarray, but the troll king was clever, as much above regular trolls as the Princesses are above us. That Luna was not dainty and elegant like her sister would be his secret weapon. After all, no one could have worse table manners than a troll!

    So in his cunning, the troll king cried, “Here comes dinner! We trolls hear very much of the power of the moon, and now we see her appetite. Perhaps I could interest you in an eating contest?”
    “I accept! I warn you, it was a long flight to this peace conference, and I am famished!” Luna answered, all jovial.

    The troll king felt jovial as well. He thought for certain that he’d trapped Luna with her own pride! “Then the first person to clear their side of the table wins!” he cried out. He and Luna took opposite ends of the long table, and the trolls set out dinner in front of them.

    It was awful. Both Luna and the troll king got the same dishes, and yes in front of each was a plate of grass. After it came a dish of pond scum, and then fruit rinds covered in mold, and then a plate piled high with the stinking bodies of dead skunks, and at the middle a cake made of tar and mud and flavored with old horseshoes.

    Oh, was the troll king surprised when Luna shouted, “Let us feast!” He threw himself into the meal. One troll eats like a herd of pigs, all squealing and grunting and champing teeth and smacking lips. He ate the grass, and he ate the pond scum and he ate the fruit rinds, and as he reached for the first dead skunk he looked up to gloat, but what he saw was Princess Luna’s teeth closing on his own wrist.

    That troll king, he’d been too much of a glutton. He hadn’t seen or heard Luna eating through her meal twice as fast as him – eating the grass and the scum and the moldy fruit and the rotting meat and the plates and the table and the cake (horseshoes and all!) and moving on to eat his plate of skunks for him!

    He yelled, of course, because Luna in her hunger couldn’t tell his hand from a dead skunk and gobbled it down. Poor fool, she couldn’t hear him! Luna had the worst table manners in the world, and as loud as he ate, the squelches and growls from Luna eating were louder. They drowned out the crunching so she didn’t even know she’d eaten the table. They drowned out his screams as she finished his plate of skunks, sucked the troll king into her mouth like a noodle, and ate him, too!

    With nothing left to eat, Luna looked around to find out she was completely alone. The trolls had all fled in terror, and who wouldn’t, seeing their king chewed up bite by bite in the jaws of the Princess of the Night?

    Princess Luna flew home licking the troll king’s plates because she was still a bit peckish. That was the last she cared about the evening, but for the trolls, it was the end. They could no more survive without their king than ponies could without Celestia. Within a generation, the trolls had died out completely. They were gone forever and we don’t even know what they looked like.

    But Princess Luna’s table manners are still just as bad.

[Spike]

...Twilight, can I sleep in your bed tonight? Luna's story gave me bad dreams!

[Pinkie Pie]

And that's why we have NICE fairy tales and stories: so Luna doesn't tell us hers.

[Firefly]

Firefly claps woooos! Always love a good comedy.

[Luna]

Of course, there are many stories about both princesses. To balance, have a story about the nice princess, Celestia.

[Luna]

A very long time ago, Discord unmade the world. We do not even know how long ago, because he unmade time as well. The love of two sisters overthrew him, but he left the world a broken place, where danger threatened ponies at every turn.

One of those sisters was Celestia, the sun pony, the first princess. As hard as it is for us to imagine now, in those days she was young and had not yet taken up the burden of ruling us. Instead, she wandered the broken world, and like the sun she brought warmth and joy and laughter wherever she passed. When her ponies were threatened by the beasts of the field, she set off not to defeat these monsters, but to heal them and bring them to Harmony.

The first beast she contronted was the Bunny, who she found tearing up a carrot patch, ripping up the crop and stuffing it into his terrible maw. When the poor earth ponies who grew these crops tried to chase him away, he roared and beat them and chased them away instead.

Celestia did not try to fight him. Instead, she greeted him, and asked, "Bunny, are you happy?"

"Of course I am not happy," growled Bunny, "Look what I must do to survive, always stealing, always fighting. I am loved by no one."

"My ponies might love you if you did not steal from them. Why do you do it?" Celestia asked.

"Look at me!" Bunny growled again, "I am the ugliest creature in Equestria. I cannot hunt, because I am too ugly to hide. I cannot graze, because grazing land must be shared, and no animal will share with something like me. I cannot even beg, because I am turned away from every table. Stealing is all I have."

Already taken by pity, Celestia asked again, "Why steal so much? The mice and the rats take a nibble here and a nibble there, and my ponies say 'Every creature has to eat.' They would look the other way if you stole only a carrot or two."

Bunny spread his mighty paws. "Look at me! I am immense, a monster. I will eat most of this field, or starve. What I do not eat, I will ruin because of my clumsy feet and dragging bulk. I must steal so much to survive that your ponies will always fight me."

"They would rather love you, Bunny, and you would rather be loved. If you will trust me, I will heal you."

Because she was Celestia, because she was the first creature in all the world to care about him, Bunny trusted her. Celestia touched him with her horn, and he became tiny and fluffy and adorable. Where he dragged his tail before, now he hopped and wiggled his nose. Ponies everywhere loved him and shared their food gladly, and he did not have to hurt them anymore.

Next she visited the Sheep, the terrible hunters who roamed in packs and struck down their prey with their long, sharp horns. She found the Sheep feeding on the body of one of her ponies. As much as she wanted to protect every one of us, she did not become angry with the Sheep. Celestia would be no happier preying on them than letting them prey on us. She wanted peace. She wanted Harmony.

"Why have you killed my pony, Sheep? He would have loved you, had you let him," she asked.

The head Sheep, with the fiercest horns, replied, "We must eat, and we must eat meat. Winter is coming, and cold kills more cruelly than we do. Ponies are the sweetest meat that keeps us warm."

"I could fix that easily. If you will trust me, I will give you the thickest, fluffiest coats in all of Equestria. You will be so warm that with only a little grass and a little hay you can last the coldest winters," Celestia offered.

The head Sheep shook his head. "You are the Sun Pony. You know what a trap that is. The fur that keeps us warm in the winter will roast us in the summer. Meat is the only way."

But Celestia only smiled. "If you let them, my ponies will treasure your fluffy coats. They will feed you all year round for the privelege of shaving your coats every spring, leaving you cool and comfortable in the summer and warm and content in the winter. If you will trust me, I will heal you."

The head Sheep was afraid, but he coveted the life of peace and pampering Celestia described. He bowed his head, and Celestia touched her horn to his, and all Sheep grew thick woolen coats. To make certain her ponies would accept them, she curled back their horns into harmless ornaments fit only to knock danger away. True to her word, we took the Sheep in, and have lived with them in Harmony to this day.

At last she approached the Ducks. They were simply mean, tearing into each other, tearing into ponies, ripping up trees and driving off other animals with their violence. They might have belonged to the monster races, they were so cruel. Yet Celestia saw evil nowhere, only pain to be healed and Harmony to be restored.

The Ducks crowded up to her, hissing and snarling, but Celestia is the Sun Pony, too hot and too brilliant to be attacked. Still, they wanted to.

"Why do you try to hurt me, Ducks? I do not want to hurt you," Celestia asked.

"You lie! Every animal wants to hurt every other animal!" yelled one Duck, and attacked his neighbor.

"If you do not hurt your neighbor, he will not want to hurt you. You can join in Harmony, where every animal helps the others. Trust me, and I will heal you," Celestia offered.

"I do not trust you, or my neighbor. Look at his razor beak, at his claws and his spikes. He lives only to hurt me!" shouted a Duck. Her neighbor, offended, attacked her immediately.

All of this violence almost moved Celestia to tears with pity. It would have, but she saw the sun hiding behind every cloud. "I can make you look round and soft and harmless. Your neighbor will not be scared anymore, and you will not be scared of him. When Duck trusts Duck, you will learn to trust my ponies. Trust me, and I will heal you."

"I will trust you," declared a Duck. "So will I!" declared another Duck. "And I!" shouted another. This may seem odd, that such mean creatures would turn around so suddenly. In truth, every Duck had looked at her neighbor and thought that if she looked harmless, she could attack him by surprise. If Ducks were cute, the whole world would be at their mercy.

So Celestia touched one Duck with her horn, and then another, and soon every Duck changed. They became plump, with silly rounded beaks and webbed feet, so harmless that even their worst attack would be only a nuisance.

The Ducks looked at themselves and each other, and all at once realized the truth - they might be trusted, but they were now clownish creatures unable to take advantage of that trust. They were furious.

"This is not what we wanted!" one yelled. "You did not heal us. You are a quack!"

"A quack!" yelled another.

"Quack! Quack! Quack!" they all shouted in a mob.

Yet as angry as they were, all they could do now was yell. If they would not trust her, Celestia could not teach them Harmony. Still, in honor of her kindness we reach out in friendship to the Duck. He remains cruel and bitter, but he has no choice but to accept our love. When he tries to refuse and attack us, all he can do is yell, "Quack! Quack! Quack!"

[Nettleglum]

I was hoping to hear the one about when your sister got drunk and messed up the platypus, your highness.

._.

[Pinkie Pie]

BEST BUNNY STORY

[Bardigan]

Once upon a time, there was a little pony whose special talent was bouncing. That wasn’t to say the little pony wasn’t good at anything else; it was just that bouncing was her passion, and she was in the unfortunate position of being completely misunderstood by the other ponies.

Bouncing, you see, had never been seen before in the land, since everypony thought bouncing was something only bunny rabbits did. Jumping was all well and good, but nopony had ever seen another pony bounce before. And when the bouncy pony started bouncing, because she enjoyed thinking outside the box like that, the other ponies were flabbergasted!

“It’s simply uncouth!” some stuffy ponies said. “We prance and we dance and we jump and we gambol, and maybe even frolick a little here and there, but bouncing is just unnatural! Besides, it makes our hooves ache!”

Since back then, ponies had much harder hooves than they do now, and bouncing was a bit more uncomfortable than it is today.

But the bouncy pony didn’t care. She thought bouncing was one of the most fun things she had ever done, and she wasn’t hurting anyone, and so what if her hard hooves hurt a little when the day was done? The bunny rabbits in town were overjoyed to have another creature join them in the joy of bouncing. So she didn’t stop bouncing.

The bouncy pony bounced here, and she bounced there. She bounced up and down and side to side and off the walls and through the walls and on the ceiling. She bounced in the kitchen, she bounced in bed. She bounced on top of ponies’ heads.

The bouncy pony became so bouncy that it began to interfere with her work, and other ponies really couldn’t stand the way she insisted on bouncing everywhere and everywhen and every other everything you could think of.

“You have a problem!” some mean ponies said. “You shouldn’t be smiling so much, unless your special talent is being a clown! Since you refuse to stop bouncing, you can go bounce somewhere else!”

And the other ponies chased the bouncy pony out of town! She was so sad that she only bounced three or four times that day, and that didn’t lift her spirits at all.

The bouncy pony decided she’d go to the only ponies in the land who might understand and accept her: the Princesses. After all, it was their job to make ponies feel safe and loved, wasn’t it? If they couldn’t find a place for her bouncing, nopony could!

And so the bouncy pony bounced all the way to Canterlot, befriending every single bunny rabbit along the way.

But in Canterlot, things were even worse! When she got through the gates she found hard stone streets, not friendly dirt paths, and the ponies walked very calmly and slowly everywhere they went! They didn’t bounce; they didn’t even come close to bouncing! They didn’t prance or dance or jump or gambol, or even frolic a little here and there! They all wore strange jewelry and tight clothes that made breathing, let alone having fun, a very laborious activity.

Every pony in Canterlot was, without fail, boring and silly. The bouncy pony was even less welcome there than she was back home, and the snooty rich ponies scoffed and laughed and called her worse than rustic and country, she was downright crazy!

“What’s the point of bouncing?” they said. “It will ruin our coiffure!”

And the bouncy pony, with her last reserves of hope, bounced up to the castle gates. The royal guards, who are probably the most boring ponies that anypony will find anywhere ever since all they do is stand still, wouldn’t let her go in no matter how she begged and pleaded and promised she’d be their best friend forever. They said the Princesses had better things to do with their time than meet with a bouncy lunatic.

And the bouncy pony was very, very sad, and since every road in Canterlot was nasty, unfriendly stone, her hard hooves ached something awful. She wandered outside the walls, only able to give a miserable little hop every now and then.

But the bouncy pony refused to give up. There had to be a way inside…

She just had to look up, and crane her head in just such a way…

A little more to the left…

What’s that?

No, no, that’s a bird. I mean that, right over there!

Why, it was a series of ledges leading up the mountain that, if a pony climbed on them just right, they’d be able to get as high as Canterlot’s walls and drop right down into the castle, and nopony would be the wiser!

Now, the bouncy pony was, as you might have guessed, an earth pony. One reason bouncing made her so happy was because earth ponies usually enjoy simple things. Now now, I said simple, not unintelligent! There’s a difference, don’t look at me like that. Anyway, she didn’t have wings, and she didn’t have fancy horn magic. But she did have one thing: she could bounce.

And so, all through the day and into night, the bouncy pony bounced up the mountain for all she was worth, ignoring her aching hooves as they smacked onto the stone again and again. She was on a mission to give everypony in the world the joy of bouncing! She had to reach the Princesses with her message that bouncing was an activity to be shared with all!

And right as night was at its darkest, the bouncy pony managed to make her way by the light of the Moon, and dropped down into Canterlot Castle. Except, she didn’t realize just how far the drop was! She dropped like a rock, and she was so frightened, and worried that not even her biggest, bestest bounce of all could save her when she hit the bottom!

But fortunately for her, she just so happened to drop into Canterlot’s garden. And there just so happened to be a very ambitious, but very forgetful spider who lived in that garden. He loved making huge, intricate webs of great size and undeniable complexity. But when he was done, if he even got that far, he often grew lazy and distracted and moved on to other projects. Many of his webs never caught a single bug despite being so huge, since he would forget to make them sticky by spitting his special spider juice on them.

And the bouncy pony landed on one of these giant, unsticky webs, and it caught her like a net, stretching down, down, down… and then shooting right back up, up, up!

“Wheee!” went the bouncy pony as she was saved by another bouncy thing and flung safely onto the safe, soft dirt of the garden.

And nearby there was another pony who had witnessed the whole thing. He was a gardener called Stingy McPennypincher, and he hadn’t bothered to save the bouncy pony since he was so greedy. But when he saw the bouncy pony hit the net and have so much fun, he had a bright idea. He went over to the forgetful spider and explained his idea, and they started a limited liability company called Spider Springs Inc., and the two of them drew up a contract by which the spider would make unsticky webs and Stingy McPennypincher would sell them on the Underground Fun Market, which thrived in boring old Canterlot, and ponies would pay for the posh and enlightened privilege of jumping up and down on unsticky spider webs, which was some Neighponese way of cleansing the mind or whatever it was Stingy got from his marketing department.

And that, my friends, is how trampolines were invented.

Anyway, the bouncy pony bounced through the garden, certain her miraculous rescue was a sign from above (or perhaps below) that her mission was pure.

She came across Princess Luna, who was sitting very sadly in the garden. The bouncy pony bounced over to her.

“Princess, Princess! Why is your face stuck in a frown? I’m here to try and make everypony happy!”

Princess Luna looked up at the bouncy pony, and she was so depressed that the bouncing didn’t even faze her.

“OH, FAITHFUL SUBJECT, LOYAL AND TRUE!” she said in the Royal Canterlot Voice even though it was the middle of the night and ponies needed to be quiet, since the Princesses just talked like that back then, “WHAT A MOST INCANDESCENTLY MISERABLE NIGHT THIS IS! CANTERLOT IS SUCH A BORING PLACE, AND NONE OF THE PONIES HERE KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN AT NIGHT! CELESTIA IS ASLEEP AND WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND NOPONY TO PLAY WITH! WOE AND ALAS AND SOME OTHER FANCY WORD FOR SAD!”

The bouncy pony found this absolutely unacceptable.

“Princess Luna, you know what you need to do? You should bounce with me! Watch, it’s the most fun thing ever, even if your hooves get a little achy!”

And so she bounced, and the Princess watched her very closely, wondering what this bouncy pony was on about. She tried the usual excuses, like that only bunny rabbits bounced and frolicking was beneath a Princess, but she was so sad and miserable that she was willing to try anything.

And so, bit by bit, the bouncy pony taught the Princess how to bounce. They started out with skips and worked up to hops, and the bouncing got higher and faster and Luna’s smile got wider and wider until the Princess was bouncing all over the place like a giddy school filly.

“OH MOST BEEFILY WONDERFUL AND ROYALLY HAPPY OF NIGHTS! WE DECLARE THAT THIS IS THE MOST FUN WE HAVE EVER HAD!” she shouted to the heavens while she bounced, and the two of them bounced and bounced all night long, laughing and joking all the while.

“BEHOLD, WE MUST SHOW THIS DISCOVERY TO OUR SISTER!” said the Princess. “BOUNCY PONY, YOU HAVE OUR MOST ROYAL AND OFFICIAL AND VERY IMPORTANT BLESSING TO SPREAD BOUNCING TO THE WORLD!”

And the Princess used her magic to make the bouncy pony’s mane and tail shine and glitter like the stars themselves, so whenever she bounced it was the most beautiful thing anypony had ever seen, and her hooves became soft like marshmallows but still tough enough to protect her little pony joints, so the bouncing was never uncomfortable again. The bouncy pony bounced off to Canterlot to enrapture the other ponies.

She came to a dance hall where all the ponies were supposedly dancing, but since their hooves were hard and it hurt to do anything on the stone floors of Canterlot, they were mostly just standing around. And the bouncy pony bounced her way inside, her mane all aglitter and tail all aglow, and the fancy Canterlot ponies enjoyed the show but didn’t know how to join her since bouncing still hurt their hooves.

Just as the bouncy pony was wondering how she might help them, aliens attacked Canterlot!

Yes, you heard me right! Aliens! A whole mess of them!

They swooped down in giant spaceships and started zapping everything with their space lasers! And they weren’t just any aliens. They were goopy, slimy, and all around gross, because their bodies were just big blobs of slime that had the faint smell of rotten eggs! They blorped and burped and burbled into Canterlot and scared the ponies witless!

“Take us to your Princesses so we can vaporize them, because we are evil space aliens who hate you!” they said.

“Never!” said the ponies. And they fought back! The earth ponies punched and kicked and the unicorns zapped them with their magic, and the pegasi tried to blow them away. But nothing worked, because their ugly slimy bodies rendered them impervious to harm!

And in the dance hall, it was the worst! The aliens saw the bouncy pony with her glittery mane and tail and soft hooves and thought she was the Princess and tried to capture her. But she wasn’t going down without a fight. She didn’t have magic powers or super strength or wings… so she did the one thing she could do.

She bounced.

She bounced off the walls and through the walls and on the ceiling, she bounced in the dance hall’s kitchen, she bounced on a bed! She bounced on those meanie aliens’ heads!

And the first alien she bounced on went POP! And exploded into a big mess of slimy goop!

And she bounced from head to head, popping them like bubbles as she went. And the aliens were terrified at first, but they soon realized they had the better of her and the bouncy pony became surrounded! The other poor ponies were too scared to do anything, and the bouncy pony thought her moment of heroism was going to be squashed forever!

But then one of the walls exploded inward, and who was there when the smoke cleared but Princess Luna and Celestia, shining in all their glory!

“BEHOLD!” shouted Luna, making all the aliens quiver and quake. “THE SECRET OF BOUNCING HAS BEEN REVEALED TO US AND MY SISTER! RISE UP BRAVE PONIES, AND FOLLOW US TO BOUNCY VICTORY!”

And Luna and Celestia’s horns lit up, and everypony in Canterlot was inspired to start bouncing on the aliens’ heads. And bounce they did, but the aliens weren’t going down without a fight!

And in the dance hall it was the worst! The laser guns were all like PEW PEW PEW! And the missiles went FWOOSH- KABOOM! And the ponies were all like “Bwaaaah! Death to stupid stinky aliens!” And the aliens were all like “Ahhh, save us from the bouncing meanie head ponies!” And then they went pop pop pop when the ponies bounced on them! The lasers and smoke and junk filled up the entire building while everypony was jumping around and somepony knocked over the jukebox so the music started playing all weird like “FRZZEEOW BOOSH BOOSH BOOSH WIZZERWAP!”

But the ponies still had hard hooves and weren’t used to all the bouncing! And they started getting tired but then Princess Luna was like:

“I HAVE THE POWER!!!”

And she and Celestia’s horns started shooting lightning out! And it zapped everypony in Canterlot and gave them ALL soft hooves so they could bounce all day long and never get tired of it! And the aliens knew they were definitely doomed then! And the bouncy pony and the Princesses led all the other ponies to bounce their way to victory, and the aliens were all popped into goop and their spaceships went away. And everything was covered in this glowy goop stuff that the ponies found made really good night lights and everypony cheered like there was no tomorrow, except there was because the aliens were all dead and their guts were all over the place!

And then the Princesses got everypony together while the bouncy pony bounced next to them and said, “WE DECLARE ON THIS DAY THAT OUR MOMENT OF TRIUMPH MUST NEVER BE FORGOTTEN THANKS TO THE EFFORTS OF THIS BOUNCY PONY! FOREVER AND A DAY SHALL PONIES HAVE SOFTER HOOVES UPON WHICH TO JUMP AND CAVORT AND PLAY AND EVEN FROLIC A LITTLE ON THE SIDE, IN HONOR OF THIS DAY! AND EVERY DANCE HALL SHALL PAY HOMAGE TO THE BOUNCY PONY AND THIS GREAT BATTLE FOREVERMORE! THEY SHALL SHOOT LASERS OF THE NON-ZAPPY AND NON-KILLY KIND, AND THERE WILL BE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SMOKE WITH STRANGE MUSIC AND GOOPY STUFF THAT GLOWS AND LOOKS REALLY COOL IN THE DARK! ABOVE ALL, THERE WILL BE BOUNCING FOR ALL! BOUNCING! FOR! EVERYPONY!”

THE END!

/=/

“And that’s how rave parties were made!”

There was a beat of silence as the other ponies let the story sink in.

“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight Sparkle said very slowly. “That was, without a doubt, the most ridiculous bedtime story I have ever heard in my entire life!”

“Aww,” the pink pony said, ears drooping. Twilight flung her hooves into the air.

“I mean, really! Lasers? Space aliens? Bouncing having not been invented? If this all happened before Nightmare Moon, where did the technology for all that stuff come from?”

“Duh!” Pinkie retorted. “They took it from the space aliens, Twilight! Read between the lines!”

“I thought the aliens and the space lasers were kinda cool,” Rainbow Dash interjected. “Honestly, I was kinda bored until then.”

“Um... I liked the parts with the bunny rabbits,” Fluttershy mumbled from under her sleeping bag, where she’d been hiding once the aliens and lasers came out to play.

“Oh, come on!” Twilight said, flopping back onto one of her pillows out of the dozens scattered over the library floor. “That was the silliest fable I’ve ever heard! There wasn’t even a moral! Bouncing? Applejack, Rarity, you agree with me, right?”

The farmer and the fashionista looked at one another, then back at Twilight. In unison, they gave a little resigned shrug that one must usually resort to when dealing with Pinkie Pie.

“Ugh!” Twilight said. “Forget it. It can’t be worse than those comic books Spike keeps telling me about. Anyway, what’s next?”

[Scootaloo]

So much love for this thread! And I have a little fable for you too. <3

'The Tale of Two Magicians'
Once upon a time, there were two young magician's apprentices. They both studied well in the city of Canterlot under the watchful eye of Starswirl the Bearded, one of the greatest magicians to ever live, and they were both equally smart and diligent with each task he set them.

However, there were differences between the two apprentices. The first was humble and kind, and always grateful for what he was taught; while the second was scornful and arrogant, wanting to be better than all the rest. The first would study hard and read many scrolls to learn much, whereas the second felt that he was above reading other ponies' findings. He was a truly unique pony, and destined to become a great magician - or so many thought at the time.

You see, Starswirl was a very clever magician. Of course he was! And he knew in his heart which of his apprentices would become the better pony in the end. So, when it was time for the two apprentices to face their final magic examinations in front of the rulers of Equestria, Princesses Celestia and Luna, he set them their tasks and left them to prepare alone.

The first student worked very hard on his tasks. For the first part of the examination, he would have to teleport something from one end of the room to another. That was easy enough; he chose a candle in his practice, and it worked well. For the second, he would have to create something from thin air. This was a harder task, so he chose to create two flowers, one for each of the Princesses. It was difficult, but with practice it also worked well. The third and final part of the exam would require him to perform a transformation spell; one of the hardest kind of spells there were, especially considering this spell had to be performed on something living. So, the apprentice took a newt from a nearby pond, and chose to turn it into a beautifully winged butterfly. It was very difficult, but with practice, he eventually managed.

You may have thought that the second apprentice would also have been practising. However, despite all the boasting he had been doing about his magical ability, when he watched the first apprentice he was stunned.

"That other apprentice is bound to get a good grade in the examination!" he said to himself, worried. "We cannot have that! What if he is better than me? He will become the greater magician, and I shall be left behind!"

So the arrogant apprentice sat down and thought. He thought for a long while, before coming up with a plan.

"If I was to watch what he is doing very closely," he said, "I may be able to learn his spells! If I volunteer to take the examination tasks first, I shall copy him. Professor Starswirl and the Princesses will be none the wiser - but when he comes to complete the exam, he will have nothing to do except copy me! I am sure to get a high grade this way."

Oh, it was a cruel plan! And the poor, good apprentice knew nothing of it! The second apprentice watched him as he practiced, night and day, until he could exactly copy his spells. Little did the arrogant apprentice know that Professor Starswirl noticed this immediately, and watched carefully, but did not intervene.

Soon enough, the day of the final examination came. The two apprentices were taken to Canterlot Castle, where they were greeted by the Princesses, who were sitting on the most glorious and colourful thrones.

"Now," said Princess Celestia, "Who shall be first to perform the teleportation spell?"

The arrogant apprentice stepped forward, and sure enough, he moved a candle from one end of the hall to the other. Stepping back with a smirk, he gestured with his hoof for the good apprentice to take his turn.

The good apprentice was a little shocked. He was going to perform that very same spell! And there was not much else to move in the room, so he had to try out his spell with a suit of decorative armour. It was heavy under his magic, and it was scratched a little when it reached its destination. The good apprentice frowned.

"Good," said Princess Celestia kindly. "Next, you must both perform a creation spell. Who shall go first?"

Once again, the arrogant apprentice stepped forward. He charged up his horn, and sure enough, two flowers appeared from nowhere, one bright and yellow as the sun, and the other a deep midnight blue. He presented them to the Princesses with a bow, who took them and smiled at him.

By now, the kind apprentice had figured out what was happening. "My colleague has stolen my spells!" he thought, frustrated. "Now he is bound to get a good grade for my work!"

But being as good as he was, he still tried hard to create something. Instead of two beautiful flowers, though, the poor apprentice created a thorn, which pricked his hooves and hurt him as soon as he touched it!

Princess Luna peered at him, but she shrugged a little and spoke. "NOW, OUR LITTLE PONIES," she announced, in her overwhelming Royal Canterlot Voice, "THE FINAL SPELL THOU MUST PERFORM IS A TRANSFORMATION SPELL." she explained. "WHO SHALL GO FIRST?"

Again, the arrogant one stepped forward. Opening a window, he levitated in a small newt from a pond outside, and put it on the table. He charged up his horn, expecting the result of his spell to be the most beautiful butterfly.

But, alas! The arrogant apprentice went wrong in his spell, and instead of becoming small and graceful, the newt became large and ferocious; instead of a butterfly, he had created a crocodile! The crocodile snapped viciously at him, and soon it chased him right out of the castle, right out of Canterlot. The arrogant apprentice was gone, leaving only the good student with his tutor and the Princesses.

The good apprentice opened his mouth to apologise, but Professor Starswirl stopped him.

"My young apprentice," he said kindly, "Do you now see what happens to those who are lazy and cheat? I did not inform you, but I had seen your colleague copying your spells during practice."

The apprentice was shocked. "But he is a good magician! How did his last spell go so wrong?"

Princess Celestia answered his question, coming down off her throne. Naturally, Luna stayed on hers; it would give her a few glorious moments to be taller than her sister!

"My little pony, magic is more powerful than you may realise." she said to him. "Magic only really works if its user is full of friendship and love for his fellow ponies. The other apprentice was not full of friendship; he was consumed by jealously and hatred. This is why his magic went so awfully wrong! He cheated and did not work hard, and he suffered the consequences of it."

The good apprentice was allowed to retake his examination, and he gained the highest score since Starswirl himself, and a glittering A* grade. The arrogant apprentice was never heard of again, but the story of his laziness and cowardice was spread across the land.

So let this be a lesson to you, little ponies! If you try your best in all things, and do everything with friendship and love in your pure hearts, you are sure to go far. But if you cheat and copy, if you are lazy and procrastinate, you may just be chased out of town by your very own crocodile!

[Derpy]

Fayy-bull! Fayy-bull! Fayy-bull!