BASICALLY, my fiance is retiri- uh, I mean resigning, and as a consequence he won't have a job. And when he told me this I was leik WHOOOAA OMG WHAT SRS Y U NO KEEP JOB DUUUUDE, And he was like ZOMG I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU DUUUUDE. (Except he doesn't say 'dude', because he's not cool.) So he said he'd put himself up to be CHANCELLOR OF PONYVILLE (what'sdoeschancellormean??) and I was like, "..." (because I don't know what chancellor means) sooooo...
(Don't show anyone this letter btw [by the way] because.. well. The press. OMG.)
I need you to rig the Chancellor votes somehow. To MAKE Marble Chancellor. (haha)
I mean srsly. Pinkie Pie is rad, but she already HAS a job. And Marble doesn't have a job. And you don't know what it's leik, having him AT HOME WITH YOU ALL DAI (srs).
Pls do for meeeeeeeeeeeee
U no u luff me, princeywess.
WUB WUB FROM HERE TO URANUS (roflmaolol)
Vinyl Scratch xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"So what if my wings can't get me off the ground?"
The following note is tied to the tail of a very angry squirrel, which has been taped loosely to a brick, loaded into a trebuchet, and launched over the castle walls from well outside Canterlot.
Dear Benevolent rulers of Equestria.
This evening I went through two potions which take weeks to craft, half a dozen clay vessels, and nearly put myself in the hospital extinguishing a fire that some of your subjects started in the forest. While I respect that your subjects have a deep seated fear of the creatures of the dark forest, it would be deeply appreciated if they could refrain from range burning near my camp.
Regards, Everfree Involuntary Fire Department Magic Caster #2
Haiku is easy But doesn't always make sense Refrigerator
If there are any reports about flash-frozen Pegasi falling from the sky, I just want you to know that I am totally not involved, and that perhaps fliers shouldn't constantly try to break speed records within my Iceboom's wake. Once again, totally...not involved..with falling pegasi from the sky.
You know what else I'm not in involved with?
Making snow. You know how odd that is? I fly rings around the moon, those beautiful things you see on foggy nights. You know, with ICE.
And speaking of ice, I just made some delicious iced tea. Hoof, oh hoof, never saw that one coming did you?
Greetings Princesses, it's Virga. Chariots. There's been a surge of pegasi trying to pull chariots into high altitudes without proper checks. Now I know flying chariots is something grand, but when you regularly fly twenty-three miles up and see these things breaking the sound barrier it's quite...well...terrifying. Up there, nopony can hear the occupants scream. So if a chariot destroys a house, building, or farm near by...I'm totally not involved with this either. Chariots.