Post by Derpy on Sept 25, 2012 1:42:33 GMT -5
The first debate for the Chancellorship of Ponyville took place spontaneously on Thursday, September 20th. All planning was done on the fly. The log follows.
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||\\||\\||\\ === TOWN HALL === //||//||//||
The Ponyville Town Hall is where the most important and lavish events are held, as well as town meetings and other governmental functions. The building is round and tall, with cream walls pink trim, and a brick red steepled roof. Two round balconies mirror the lower deck.
Inside, the hall is dominated by a huge empty room with numerous balconies, cross-bracing, and venerable tapestries. The hall's back rooms include the office of the mayor.
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Berry Punch has been coopted to help set up the stage for the debate! While Junebug and Lily haul chairs into place, she sets about doing what really matters--getting the refreshment table set up!
Marble is backstage. He has index cards. Several seperate stacks of index cards. He's looking up at the cieling, silently reciting to himself. Then he looks at his cards. Are they in order? Oh Celestia, he hopes they're in order. Maybe he better double-check!
Chalice_Flame has arrived.
Nettleglum has been asked by Luna to moderate, so after a few hasty checks in her library on the rules of debate, she's brought all the appropriate materials, including a very angry-looking morningstar. ._. This is for rebuttals.
Pinkie_Pie is noticeably absent. Perhaps she will fail to show up for her own debate! Perhaps she will pop out of a cake unexpectedly.
Carrot Top is the one in charge of the cake cart. And yep, it's plenty big enough!
Chalice_Flame hasn't any idea what is going on, she popped in after seeing some activity going on here.
Skyheart has arrived.
Applejack has arrived.
Sugar_Rush has arrived.
Plain_Sight has arrived.
Various townsponies are setting the stage for the debate. There are streamers and backdrops and wires randomly trailing here and there, tripping up ponies for no obvious reason. And of course, there's punch and cake.
Chalice_Flame helps herself to punch and cake, she's quite hungry.
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-13... 13!!!! "OH MY CELESTIA! WHAT WENT WRONG?!" Marble starts fiddling with the cards, frantically trying to find card 12. "CARD 12-B! Where is it? O... o-oh dear! Nononono!" He runs around frantically.
A mysterious pink gypsy woman in voluminous robes glides towards Marble, and holds out something toward him. "Is THIS your card, sir?"
Rainbow Dash loiters in the balconies, folding card 12-B into a paper plane and laughing mischievously to herself.
Nettleglum leans in close to the microphone and all the lights on the stage flicker fitfully. There's a banshee wail from the speakers, a keening of despairing souls. Nettie thinks that sound check went fine.
Plain_Sight wanders through town to see all the ponies milling this way. She wonders. "Another rodeo?"
Chalice_Flame says "I'm not sure, but there's cake."
The sign on the outside of Town Hall says: PONYFILL CHANCE-LORE DEBAIT: TO-NOW!
Sugar_Rush looks around, and sees the refreshment table. He adds a tray of s'mosts to it.
MArble panics. "Mymymy card! CARD! Olease let me have my card back!" Marble reaches out to accept it back when he manages to knock over two of his stacks. He freaks out. Quite a lot, actually. "No! MY THOUGHTS!"
Nettleglum clears her throat in a sound like an accordion on life support after they pull the switch. "Your attention, dear ponies. May I please have your attention. Tonight, we are going to witness the first debate between the candidates for the title of Chancellorship of Ponyville. Would the candidates please take their places above the trapdoors on each side of the stage?" ._.
Chalice_Flame nods to Plain_Sight, "OOh, so that's what's going on". She helps herself to more punch and looks towards Nettleglum.
Berry Punch is putting the finishing touches on the punch. She scurries offstage at Nettie's prompting, and joins the ushers and security staff on the floor.
ProgrammerPony has arrived.
Fluttershy has arrived.
Skyheart sits quietly to the side, Orpheus is obediently perched on the poet's head.
Derpy shouts "Debate between Marble Memory and Pinkie Pie about to begin!" (Public-shout)
Rosetta_Stone has arrived.
CRASH! A wall - apparently a piece of scenery painted to look like a wall, anyway - falls over on stage. Pinkie Pie was apparently leaning on it too hard. She looks up from the debris and puff of dust rising, and blinks. "Oh! The debate! Already?"
Seafoam_Splash has arrived.
Carrot Top and Junebug scurry out with color-coordinated brooms to sweep that debris right up. They have vests on with pictures of Pinkie Pie on them, surrounded by spirals and chaos.
Trying to gather up his hopelessly scrambled index cards, Marble looks up suddenly in terror when he hears the words "trap" and "door" together. He looks over at the gruff stage manager and says, "Did she just say--" MArble soon gets shoved violently, sans notes, onto the stage. The suited pony soon finds himself at his podium, looking worried. "O... o-oh dear."
Sugar_Rush looks confused. He isn't sure what a Chancellor does. He was just delivering some goodies.
"On behalf of her most gracious and regal majesty, the avatar of night and incarnation of darkness, the Princess Luna, I welcome you here this night." Nettie's either got a weather pony out there or some spooky timing, given the lightning bolt that accentuates her last words. "Our candidates should need no introduction, but none the less, I will provide one. On this side, wielder of the Element of Laughter, Miss Pinkamina Diane Pie. Her opponent, a most worthy public servant of long standing, Master of Artifacts, Mister Mental Mediocrity."
Pinkie_Pie clambers up behind the podium. She seems to have a gypsy turban on, and her usual nothing otherwise. She puts her hooves neatly on the top of the podium.
Marble blinks and looks at Nettie. "Th... th-that's 'Marble Memory,' Nettie." Marble corrects with an urgent tone.
Plain_Sight listens to the announcements with perked ears. She nods to Chalice. "Oh that makes sense. Um. What is a chancellorship?" She jumps a little at the falling wall. "Oh."
In a page-pose to you, Nettleglum thinks you can spoof Berry/Carrot/etc. Also, wouldn't mind some suggestions on questions to ask.
A new, less pink wall is wheeled in to replace the fallen one. *squeakysqueakysquee*
Chalice_Flame replies back, " I'm not exactly sure, I suppose we'll find out.".
Derpy finally arrives! She's wearing her cute little green postal cap, but no vest or mailbags today. Instead, into a little bag, she's gathering questions from the audience. She has a sign over her breast reading: "DEPOZIT QUESTYUNS HEAR."
<OOC> You say, "Ponies of audience!! If you have questions you want the moderator to ask, page them to me!!"
Chalice_Flame stares at Derpy's sign obviously reacting to the grammar and spelling, however she doesn't say anything.
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie p derpy=Why is Pinkie Pie so awesome and well suited to be Chancellor
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie oop
<OOC> Derpy laughs!
Nettleglum nods stiffly at Marble. Right, just what she said. The dark purple pony lifts a small jar with something squashy inside. It's got eyes. "As is traditional in these proceedings, we will begin with a squid toss to determine which pony goes first. Please call heads or tentacles in the air?" Nettie lofts the contents of the jar up, flailing in the light.
Pinkie_Pie raises a hoof high. "I call feets!"
Sugar_Rush spots AppleJack and Derpy. He gives a little wave to each of them.
<OOC> Nettleglum gets an OOC coin to toss, to be fair!
Marble flails and panics, watching the squggly thing in the air. "Um-uh-um heads? Is heads what I'm supposed to call? HEADS!" Fidget fidget.
Pinkie_Pie beams. Oh, good, her campaign poster is here. She directs Carrot Top to unfurl it on the new wall behind her. She turns back to the audience as it's unrolled. xnosidex.deviantart.com/art/Princess-Pinkie-325906860
Derpy waves to Sugar Rush! She holds out a little scrap of paper for him to write a debate question on if he wishes.
MapleWing has arrived.
Plain_Sight is watching with quite a bit of... she's not really sure. "This is even much stranger than the rodeo." She takes some of the punch and drinks.
Fluttershy looks down at her blank slip. Um...hm. Uh. Oh dear. Um. Ah...!
The cephalopod lands with a damp splorch, heads, and begins to scuttle to the darker side of the stage. Moves pretty quick for something out of water. "Heads it is, the first question will be addressed to Muffled Mummery. Mister Mummery, dear." Nettle raises a small card and stares at it flatly. "You have three minutes to answer, 'What does the Chancellor of Ponyville do?'"
Blue_Yonder has arrived.
<OOC> Nettleglum says, "Time limit is an IC thing, not an OOC thing. You don't actually have only three minutes."
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie says, "NO ONLY THREE MINUTES GO GO"
Fluttershy scribbles something and passes it over. Her hooves are sweaty and shaking!
Pinkie_Pie looks at her hooves curiously. Can hooves sweat...?
Rosetta_Stone walks slowly into the room to see what the hay was going on!?
Skyheart cringes at the squid toss. Why not a coin? Ah well... He rests comfortably. So there was a new election? Interesting.
Blue_Yonder quietly steps into the back of the room to see what the crowd's here for.
Marble spots a loose thread on his vest and it is suddenly all he can think about. "Well..." The grabs it in his hooves and tugs at it gently, hoping to tear it off, "...you see... the chancellor is an..." Tug-tug-tug. "...elected.... elected..." He starts turning around on the stage, trying to get a better grip with the loose thread. "...in charge of the whole county, not just one..." TUG! "...not just one-- WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS VEST?" Yank-yank-YANK-YAAANK!!! SNAP! Suddenly Marble's vest snaps right off his body, sailing across he stage and far, *far* into the audience. The stallion staring, the loose thread tightly held in his hooves. Well, he got it! "...um... city?"
Nettleglum listens to Marble's reply without a change of expression. "Fascinating." Neither does her voice waver, being the same deadpan monotone as ever. "Thank you, dear. Most illuminating." She shambles in a half circle to face Pinkie Pie. "Miss Pie. You have one minute to make a rebuttal."
Rosetta_Stone yelps as the vest lands right on her face.
Nettleglum has helpfully left the morningstar within reach of either candidate, based on the rules she's read, which truthfully may have more to do with gladiatorial contests than debates.
Pinkie_Pie beams. "Wonderful! As it happens, my opposition, Marble Mammaries, is totally wrong. Chancellor is an entirely imaginary position with no real power whatsoever. Having played an entirely imaginary Chancellor, Chancellor Puddinghead, I clearly have the best qualifications to be imaginary."
Lightning_Flash has arrived.
Derpy, who is supposed to be impartial, spontaneously applauds from the hall floor.
Pinkie_Pie bows spontaneously!
Nettleglum nods, and the microphone picks up a wince-inducing skreek from her neck. "Miss Pie. Your question. You have three minutes to answer, 'How would you help ponies who are new to Ponyville?'"
Marble stares at Pinkie Pie. What? Imaginary? Now he knows that's not true! And "acting" isn't some political qualification. He stares back at Nettie. She can't be serious!
Derpy runs up to the moderator's pulpit and gives Nettleglum a goutwort muffin. Oh, and a bundle of audience questions.
Pinkie_Pie SLAMS both of her hooves on the podium! "I will help new ponies the same way I'll do everything in office! Spending hours every day lying on cushions, being fed danishes and cupcakes by the best-looking stallions in Ponyville! Furthermore, I will be giving out couches AND cupcaked AND stallions as thinly disguised bribes! Actually, we may need more couches, then. And stallions. Does anyone know where to buy stallions in bulk? The bulkier, the better."
Blue_Yonder starts to raise a hoof, then lowers it again. No, that's scallions.
Nettleglum lurches around to face Marble, her eyes glassy and staring. "Mister Miffled, dear, you have one minute for a rebuttal?" The muffin is placed to the side, where it blisters the podium, as she makes a small stack of the audience questions and begins to stiffly deal a tarot spread of them before her.
Plain_Sight sees they try to answer the question of what is a chancellor. She thinks. Maybe they are just trying to make it less understandable. Though it does sound like some kind of ruler.
"What on earth is my opponent talking about? She just about *admitted* she was corrupt and about to bribe everypony! Listen, a good leader is an *honest* leader who can make decisions on *impartiality!* If she wants to welcome ponies to Pnyville. fine, but she'll waste resources (Not to mention tax bits) on trying to bribes for... what? Exactly?" Marble asks, a bit of sweat gathering on his brow. "A-also, I believe she's encouraging slaveryin her statement... er... somewhere."
Silver_Star has arrived.
Derpy goes back to taking questions from the audience.
Nettleglum lightly taps the timer bell on the podium and it ~GONGS~ with a noise that reverberates throughout the building. Nettie does not apparently notice this. "Our first round is concluded. We will now move on to answer a few of the questions posed by members of our audience, and then a little later, comes the fire juggling. Our first question from the audience goes to Monkey Mortuary. Mister Mortuary, please tell us what you plan to do about the unclean streets in Ponyville. Three minutes dear."
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie examines the 'where' list for everyone who didn't show up. Luna and Bardigan... making out. Dusk and Mirage... making out. Feather and Firefly, making out... ooh, Big Mac, Chance, AND Tejene...
"I wasn't aware Ponyville had any unclean streets. But, one thing you can count on, I can efficiently commission, at low cost, inspections of Ponyville's lanes of transportation for maintenence. Not only will this assure we will have more clean streets, but also bring more jobs to-- Did you just say 'fire juggling' just now?" Marble says, wide-eyed, staring at Nettie again.
"No, dear. Fire juggling in a little while. Patience, please." Nettleglum shambles amiably towards Pinkie. "Miss Pie, one minute for a rebuttal?"
Pinkie_Pie leans over the podium, a grim expression on her face. "If I am elected, I will clean up the streets of Ponyville. With my TONGUE."
Marble slaps the podium with his hoof, muttering, "Oh for the love of--" HE shakes his head. Why do political candidtes always make the impossible promises?
Fluttershy says "N-no, Pinkie Pie, don't do it! I already gave all my antibiotics to sick seahorses!"
Pinkie_Pie (shoo de be doo)
Carrot Top passes through the aisles of the audience, meekly passing out slices of carrot cake on little paper napkins.
Rosetta_Stone happily takes some cake.
Blue_Yonder brightens. Ooh, carrot cake. Always welcome.
Nettleglum can't help but admire than answer, though she is sworn to impartiality, or perhaps, given she may be missing a few organs, partiality. Pinkie gets a nod. Nettie's hoof hovers over her tarot spread and by divination zeros in on another question. She lifts the card and aims her unfocused eyes that way. "Your question, Miss Pie, is 'Um...I-I'd like to a - if it's okay, I mean - the audience - by which I mean one of us - would like to ask, um (cont. on back) how do you feel about wildlife and ecological protection? Thank you. Hopeit'snotroubleThanks.'" This is read in a waxwork's tone that would not shame a museum display. "Three minutes, please."
Derpy dings a loud clerk's bell halfway through Pinkie's answer! Apparently for fun. While hanging from a low balcony.
Pinkie_Pie says "I swear solemnly, if I am elected Ponyville will have the wildest life in Equestria, especially night life. And eco is that glowing white stuff, right? Mutates things? You need to collect it? I'll form a ecological collection agency on my first day, staffed by an orange weaselike creature."
Pinkie_Pie is promptly DINGED, and is a dingy.
Blue_Yonder makes a mental note about 'glowing white stuff that mutates things'. Hmmm. Could be useful.
Nettleglum has some of that in her cupboard, dear. Buy it in bulk. "Mister Mooblery, your one-minute rebuttal, please."
Rosetta_Stone says a little louder than a normal voice, "It is Marble Memory!"
Junebug hustles over to Nettleglum and whispers urgently in her ear.
Plain_Sight's eyes seem to be going back and forth between the candidates, Nettleglum, Derpy, and the audience. She holds the piece of carrot cake too. All the ponies though do seem intent on the two answering questions. She watches more closely as she eats some cake.
"She completely missed the question, madame moderator." Marble points out ever so dutifully. "It's actually very simple. I look at places such as the Everfree and I find myself thinking about what solution there could be there that could also benefit us there... and I have found the answer. ... Um..." MArble suddenly runs backstage, searching frantically through his notes, calling out to the stage, "Time ot time out!" Several moments later, he's back out with a card, 87-Y. "Rangers! PArk rangers. I propose we make the Verfree Equestria's foremost wildlife preserve and sanctuary, maintained by volunteers and government staf alike! Together..." He switches to a new card 25-NB. "...we can all have deep fried hay fries on me. Wait. What the hay?"
Derpy licks her lips. Hay fries.
Tapping, ever so gently, gently, tapping the bell before her, Nettie produces another improbably loud, mournful ~GONNNG~. "Second round, dears. And with everypony on pins and needles." She looks out over the audience and realizes they removed those from the chairs before anypony arrived. ._. Darn. "Now then, we move on to the fire juggling, and..." Lurching around the podium, Nettie begins to stoke a charcoal brazier with torches in it.
Pinkie_Pie ooohs, clapping her hooves! "Fire juggling! And we use the big spiky club this round, too, don't we?"
Derpy tiptoes over to Nettie's pulput and, arcing her foreleg soo far, taptaptaps her gently. "Miss Nettled? So sorry. Is weather marshal. Say not can afford another unschedule wildfire at this time of season. May do Lightning Round instead."
Skyheart tries to look around for somepony he knows and winds up winding through the crowd over to Fluttershy. "Is... Is this normal?" He asks, eyeing the torches. He's not entirely sure he wound up warning her about his presence.
"I-I object!" Marble says frantically. "Being able to juddle flaming lumps of carbon is not a test of leadership or political skill!"
"Um," replies the yellow mare. "...n-no. Not at all."
Nettleglum looks flatly at Derpy. "You're certain, dear? Really. Oh. Highly irregular for a political debate, but, then... yes, all right..." The candiates may breathe a sigh of relief as the brazier is moved aside. And stop breathing it when a large rolling black cantankerous rumbling stormcloud is pushed into the chamber by weather ponies. In Ponyville, Lightning Round strikes /you./
Pinkie_Pie peers up, shading her face with a hoof. "Gosh, political life is so literal."
Derpy gleefully leaps up on top of the highly irregular indoor cloud and takes her position! Ohhh boy.
Rosetta_Stone trots up to the edge of the crowd and offers up Marble's vest for the beaurocrat pony.
Nettleglum clears her throat. Several vultures gather expectantly along the windows, wanting to know where the dying wildebeest is. "I will now ask a series of questions of each candidate. They will have thirty seconds to respond. No rebuttals this round, dears. Question one, Modern Mockery-- 'Which has the greatest capacity to serve us as a people and as a community: Moscopone, marzipan, or meringue?'"
Derpy starts to leap gently, skipping a metallic rope.
"What the [BUY SOME APPLES] kind of question is that? Ohhhh shoot, fine! Meringue! It's the healthiest of the three, surely!"
Marble says in a panic.
Nettleglum whirls, by which we mean lurches, the other way. "Miss Pie: Chimicherry? Or cherrychanga?"
Derpy jumps hard on a spot above him and a rain of golf-ball sized hailstones come tumbling down, covered with a smattering of meringue. Or maybe snow. Or both.
Pinkie_Pie says "Chimicherry! Um, no, cherrychanga! Chimicheery! Choogachonga! Chattanooga!"
Derpy skips hard and fast above Pinkie, and cascades of pink and blue electricity come sizzling toward her!
Nettleglum apparently has a stroke and stiffly veers towards Marble. "Mister Miserly: Will you tell these dummies that 'victoryful' isn't a word?!"
Pinkie_Pie's mane and tail frazz out dramatically! Her body is coated with a light black glaze of soot.
Marble dives under his podium, trying to evade the hailstones. Then he gets his next question. "Yes! Yes! Listen, 'victoryful' is not a word! Look in the dictionary!"
"TOLD you!" chimes a triumphant young voice from the audience.
Derpy flails her jumprope at the cloud like a whip. "HyaAAAH!!" she cries. A spattering of chocolate frogs falls out over Marble.
Nettleglum looms up over Pinkie, lightning blazing behind her. "Miss Pie. If elected, what assurance do we have that you won't surround yourself with yes-ponies, sycophants, buckets of turnips and talking bags of flour?"
Pinkie_Pie says "I'll be too busy surrounding myself with hot stallions, duh!"
The raincloud moves to hover directly over Pinkie. Derpy boingboingboings up and down gleefully, and a huge wash of water just POURS over Pinkie, all at once.
Nettleglum rises out of the floorboards of the stage about eight inches behind Marble and solemnly intones, "Muggy Mobility, is it true that your fiancee once hosted an all-night protest party in the Fillydelphia mayor's living room?"
Pinkie_Pie's soot is washed off, and her hair goes all flat, covering her face entirely.
"No-- I mean-- Yes! NoImean. She didn't *start* the protest, but she joined it after they made their case to her." Marble says in a frantic tone.
Derpy keeps jumping erratically all over the surface of the cloud, her mane flying with yellow static, and with a crack of snappy thunder, the cloud unleashes a dozen bright little lightning bolts in all directions, including at Marble and Nettie, at Pinkie, and into the audience.
Nettleglum asks the last question of the lightning round, one hoof outstretched towards Pinkie. "Daigaku wo suki desu ka, Miss Pie?"
Pinkie_Pie says "I used to be a politician, until I took an arrow in the Romney!"
Pinkie_Pie is zotted by a Derpbolt, and falls over, smoking.
Derpy jumps and jumps so hard that the cloud breaks apart in a flurry of mist, bits flying and dissipating everywhere, and Derpy falls with a splat to the stage.
Pinkie_Pie then has a Derpy fall on top of her.
Fluttershy breaks out the ointment again. Another day in politics.
Lyra and Bonbon step onto the smoking stage with fire extinguishing cream pies and take care of things.
Lyra then wheels out a rack of several dozen attractive and peculiar hats in all shapes and sizes.
Marble peeks out from under his podium. "I survived?"
Nettleglum feels a tingle of lightning. Ooh, just like back home in Castle Grimdark! Uncle Karloff always favored direct current. The cloud dissipates, little tiny drizzles moving about the hall, a few scorch marks on the banners. Nettie calmly shambles back to her podium. "Excellent points both of you. Very fruitful exchange of ideas."
Derpy stands up sheepishly, stretches her wings, and smiles to the crowd.
Plain_Sight watches the candidates and watches bolts go flying by overhead. She does note the audience of ponies tend to laugh and smile at the pink pony's comments and actions. But it's different for the other one.
Rosetta_Stone still has Marble's vest.
Marble reaches out to take his vest, attempting to wear the dishevelld thing. He even tries to push the loose thread he ripped off back into it, to no avail. Then he sees the hat rack. "No. No! I refuse! Hats have nothing to do with performing the duties of administration. Now MONOCLES on the other hoof..."
Nettleglum eyes the growing assortment of hat and checks her notes. Trial by fire, trial by rabid echidna, no trial by hats. They /are/ peculiar in Ponyville. Still, she's not one to disrupt local tradition. "I believe our next, and final portion of the debate, will relate to haberdashery. The candidates each have five minutes to model a minimum of seven hats for the audience. You may begin..." She taps at the bell. It makes a low, scratchy shriek. "Now."
Pinkie_Pie leaps to her feet, and breaks into song.
o/`
Pinkie_Pie o/~ Well you can ride on your bike. Go fly a kite. Make a sticky sandwich in the middle of the night. No you can't do any of that! o/~
Pinkie_Pie whips off her gypsy turban, revealing a chartreuse top hat.
Pinkie_Pie o/~ ... without a hat!
Members of the audience applaud and coo at this display.
Emerald_Star has arrived.
Lightning_Flash has left.
Lyra sighs and lifts a top section of the rack, revealing a case of shining monocles.
Marble stares in horror at the hat rack. After spending a good amount of time selecting one, he finally just puts on one random hat out of desperation: An oversized coboy hat with "COWABUNGA" printed in Comic Sans on the top. "O... o-oh dear." He reaches desperately for a monocle and puts it on (Taking his glasses off first, of course, that would just look ridiculous.) and unfortunately it's got "WWCD" emblazoned on the rim and is VERY dark through the lens.
Pinkie_Pie pirouettes and leaps gracefully over to Marble. o/~ Well you can talk real tough! Huff and puff! Say you didn't mean it and all that stuff! But you can't do that! o/~ She sweeps off the top hat, revealing a gigantic, floppy sun hat. o/~ Noooo, you can't do that! o/~ She sweeps off Marble's cowboy hat, revealing a matching sun hat. o/~ Without a hat! o/~
Marble looks at Pinkie, then at the audience. His vest dishevelled and partly unravelled, a tacky enormous cowboy hat, and a monocle he can't see through. Flailing, he throws off the vest and hat, shakes off the monocle and desperately seeks a new hat. No fashion sense at al, he puts on a cap that looks like a gant duck with Engrish emblazoned on the side, saying "Sometimes I feel like a cloud."
Sugar_Rush just looks confused.
Skyheart isn't much better off.
Nettleglum, in the fray of hats, winds up with a tall black stovepipe hat on her head. ._. This isn't a bad look for her.
Derpy stamps in encouraging rhythm from the back of the stage, first facing one candidate, then the other. Her eyes are excited and her mane frazzled wildly!
Pinkie_Pie puts an arm around her disheveled opponent's shoulder, throwing the other arm... er, foreleg ... wide. o/~ Well you can be real brave! Be real bold! Over come a danger, just as good as gold! But you can't do that -- o/~ She starts tossing hats into the audience, from her head, from Marble's head, from the table of hats. o/~ NOOOO! You can't do that! Without a HAAAT! o/~
Plain_Sight finds her head bobbing to the singing. So curious. And again the audience responds to the confusing antics. She gives some applause much like ponies did at the rodeo when there was a show and a crowd.
With the stage still slippery from the rainstorms, one of the wheeled hat-carts begins to roll, striking the edge of the stage. The cart bounces and spills hats out into the audience more or less at random.
Lyra panics and runs for the cart, grabbing the handle and stopping it short--but the hats just fly wildly into the audience as a result. Oh no!!
Marble flails and nearly fals over when Pinkie grabs hold of him for her musical number. The por felw s just trying to survive. She he goes in to get another hat SOMETHING that makes him distinguished and qualfied. Suddenly, in his hooves is a rabid echidna. "AUGH!" He shoves the growling thig back in the hats and backs away, bumping into a nearby table, the lamp teeters, then falls to the ground, the shade popping up, twirling in the air, and landing neatly on Marble's head. He sighs, resigning himself to his fate. He is in hell.
Plain_Sight ends up with a black bowler hat landing on her head.
You page-pose, "Derpy leaves it to you to coolly wrap things up.
" to Nettleglum
Skyheart blinks again before looking to Fluttershy again. "....How was the last election this town had? Was it anything like this?"
Pinkie_Pie takes off one last hat, revealing a large cake on her head, and throws that into the audience as well.
Pinkie_Pie says "RANDOM CAKE BRIBE! VOTE FOR PINKIE!"
Marble just stands in the middle of the stage, tears welling up in his eyes. "I... resigned my post in Canterlot... for this?! My entire life is in ruins! I HAVE FAILED MY FIANCE!" He starts bawling like a colt in the middle of the stage, lampshade still on his hed.
Pinkie_Pie pats Marble, and puts a hoofkerchief to his nose. "Blow."
Derpy walks over to the poor bureaucrat. She drapes a foreleg over his neck and says nothing.
Plain_Sight has a slice a pink cake land next to her nearly finished slice of orange carrot cake in her hooves. She blinks at both the hat and the cake. "She was right about there being cake."
SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTT. Marble blows his nose into the hanky, so very upset. Now he has npo prospects. The debate was a disaster!
Nettleglum removes her stovepipe hat, revealing the squid from the toss earlier, the tentacles draped over her braids. It looks, er, befuddled. Perhaps if it pretends to be hair nopony will notice. This probably has a better chance of working with Nettie's head than anypony else. She clears her throat. "The candidates may now each have one minute to make a closing statement, dears. Miss Pie, please go first."
Derpy squeeze so gently.
"I-I don't remember," says Fluttershy to Skyheart. "Miss Mare has been Mayor since I moved to Ponyville. Um..." She trots up on stage right, a wide plaid Stetson on her head, and pats Marble Memory. There, there. SHe leaves the minty ointment and backs away to the audience again.
Pinkie_Pie remains with her foreleg around Marble's shoulder, and gestures with the other. "If elected, I promise not to abuse my po - AHAHAHA! No, I'm joking, you're all voting for me to WATCH me abuse my power! Tell you what, if I'm elected, I'll make my opponent feed me danishes and cupcakes. I know I promised it would be a stallion, but Marble will have to do."
Marble is still standing there, sobing. "I-if elected, I'll promise to be good and honet and..." Sniffle. "...beg forgiveness and love my fiance and-- I want to be so *happy!*" Marble cries again.
Derpy starts a solemn slow clomp.
-CLOMP.-
-CLOMP.-
-CLOMP.- -CLOMP.- -CLOMP.-
Skyheart cringes a bit silently as he decides to confer with his friend more quietly. "She's not really taking this seriously, is she?"
Nettleglum doffs her squid at the candidates. "Her majesty wishes to thank you both for your participation in this first debate. I'm sure everypony in Ponyville has been given a great deal to think about regarding the important issues of the day, dears."
Pinkie_Pie kisses poor Marble on the cheek, and ruffles his mane. "I did warn ya, Marbie."
Sugar_Rush clomps!
Berry Punch tings the punch bowl with the side of a ladle. "Anyone for PUNCH??"
"Only sixteen more debates to go!" squeals Derpy with delight.
"Twelve, dear. The four contests of archery and clog dancing hardly count as debates," murmurs Nettie.
Marble merely sobs in reply. He's going to need to curl up and talk to his fiance and hope she'll still love him in the morning. He knows she will, but still...
Carrot Top finishes passing out cake and heads off.
And from under an errant pile of shaving cream there comes a quiet, '(yay?)'.
====================
||\\||\\||\\ === TOWN HALL === //||//||//||
The Ponyville Town Hall is where the most important and lavish events are held, as well as town meetings and other governmental functions. The building is round and tall, with cream walls pink trim, and a brick red steepled roof. Two round balconies mirror the lower deck.
Inside, the hall is dominated by a huge empty room with numerous balconies, cross-bracing, and venerable tapestries. The hall's back rooms include the office of the mayor.
=====
Berry Punch has been coopted to help set up the stage for the debate! While Junebug and Lily haul chairs into place, she sets about doing what really matters--getting the refreshment table set up!
Marble is backstage. He has index cards. Several seperate stacks of index cards. He's looking up at the cieling, silently reciting to himself. Then he looks at his cards. Are they in order? Oh Celestia, he hopes they're in order. Maybe he better double-check!
Chalice_Flame has arrived.
Nettleglum has been asked by Luna to moderate, so after a few hasty checks in her library on the rules of debate, she's brought all the appropriate materials, including a very angry-looking morningstar. ._. This is for rebuttals.
Pinkie_Pie is noticeably absent. Perhaps she will fail to show up for her own debate! Perhaps she will pop out of a cake unexpectedly.
Carrot Top is the one in charge of the cake cart. And yep, it's plenty big enough!
Chalice_Flame hasn't any idea what is going on, she popped in after seeing some activity going on here.
Skyheart has arrived.
Applejack has arrived.
Sugar_Rush has arrived.
Plain_Sight has arrived.
Various townsponies are setting the stage for the debate. There are streamers and backdrops and wires randomly trailing here and there, tripping up ponies for no obvious reason. And of course, there's punch and cake.
Chalice_Flame helps herself to punch and cake, she's quite hungry.
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-13... 13!!!! "OH MY CELESTIA! WHAT WENT WRONG?!" Marble starts fiddling with the cards, frantically trying to find card 12. "CARD 12-B! Where is it? O... o-oh dear! Nononono!" He runs around frantically.
A mysterious pink gypsy woman in voluminous robes glides towards Marble, and holds out something toward him. "Is THIS your card, sir?"
Rainbow Dash loiters in the balconies, folding card 12-B into a paper plane and laughing mischievously to herself.
Nettleglum leans in close to the microphone and all the lights on the stage flicker fitfully. There's a banshee wail from the speakers, a keening of despairing souls. Nettie thinks that sound check went fine.
Plain_Sight wanders through town to see all the ponies milling this way. She wonders. "Another rodeo?"
Chalice_Flame says "I'm not sure, but there's cake."
The sign on the outside of Town Hall says: PONYFILL CHANCE-LORE DEBAIT: TO-NOW!
Sugar_Rush looks around, and sees the refreshment table. He adds a tray of s'mosts to it.
MArble panics. "Mymymy card! CARD! Olease let me have my card back!" Marble reaches out to accept it back when he manages to knock over two of his stacks. He freaks out. Quite a lot, actually. "No! MY THOUGHTS!"
Nettleglum clears her throat in a sound like an accordion on life support after they pull the switch. "Your attention, dear ponies. May I please have your attention. Tonight, we are going to witness the first debate between the candidates for the title of Chancellorship of Ponyville. Would the candidates please take their places above the trapdoors on each side of the stage?" ._.
Chalice_Flame nods to Plain_Sight, "OOh, so that's what's going on". She helps herself to more punch and looks towards Nettleglum.
Berry Punch is putting the finishing touches on the punch. She scurries offstage at Nettie's prompting, and joins the ushers and security staff on the floor.
ProgrammerPony has arrived.
Fluttershy has arrived.
Skyheart sits quietly to the side, Orpheus is obediently perched on the poet's head.
Derpy shouts "Debate between Marble Memory and Pinkie Pie about to begin!" (Public-shout)
Rosetta_Stone has arrived.
CRASH! A wall - apparently a piece of scenery painted to look like a wall, anyway - falls over on stage. Pinkie Pie was apparently leaning on it too hard. She looks up from the debris and puff of dust rising, and blinks. "Oh! The debate! Already?"
Seafoam_Splash has arrived.
Carrot Top and Junebug scurry out with color-coordinated brooms to sweep that debris right up. They have vests on with pictures of Pinkie Pie on them, surrounded by spirals and chaos.
Trying to gather up his hopelessly scrambled index cards, Marble looks up suddenly in terror when he hears the words "trap" and "door" together. He looks over at the gruff stage manager and says, "Did she just say--" MArble soon gets shoved violently, sans notes, onto the stage. The suited pony soon finds himself at his podium, looking worried. "O... o-oh dear."
Sugar_Rush looks confused. He isn't sure what a Chancellor does. He was just delivering some goodies.
"On behalf of her most gracious and regal majesty, the avatar of night and incarnation of darkness, the Princess Luna, I welcome you here this night." Nettie's either got a weather pony out there or some spooky timing, given the lightning bolt that accentuates her last words. "Our candidates should need no introduction, but none the less, I will provide one. On this side, wielder of the Element of Laughter, Miss Pinkamina Diane Pie. Her opponent, a most worthy public servant of long standing, Master of Artifacts, Mister Mental Mediocrity."
Pinkie_Pie clambers up behind the podium. She seems to have a gypsy turban on, and her usual nothing otherwise. She puts her hooves neatly on the top of the podium.
Marble blinks and looks at Nettie. "Th... th-that's 'Marble Memory,' Nettie." Marble corrects with an urgent tone.
Plain_Sight listens to the announcements with perked ears. She nods to Chalice. "Oh that makes sense. Um. What is a chancellorship?" She jumps a little at the falling wall. "Oh."
In a page-pose to you, Nettleglum thinks you can spoof Berry/Carrot/etc. Also, wouldn't mind some suggestions on questions to ask.
A new, less pink wall is wheeled in to replace the fallen one. *squeakysqueakysquee*
Chalice_Flame replies back, " I'm not exactly sure, I suppose we'll find out.".
Derpy finally arrives! She's wearing her cute little green postal cap, but no vest or mailbags today. Instead, into a little bag, she's gathering questions from the audience. She has a sign over her breast reading: "DEPOZIT QUESTYUNS HEAR."
<OOC> You say, "Ponies of audience!! If you have questions you want the moderator to ask, page them to me!!"
Chalice_Flame stares at Derpy's sign obviously reacting to the grammar and spelling, however she doesn't say anything.
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie p derpy=Why is Pinkie Pie so awesome and well suited to be Chancellor
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie oop
<OOC> Derpy laughs!
Nettleglum nods stiffly at Marble. Right, just what she said. The dark purple pony lifts a small jar with something squashy inside. It's got eyes. "As is traditional in these proceedings, we will begin with a squid toss to determine which pony goes first. Please call heads or tentacles in the air?" Nettie lofts the contents of the jar up, flailing in the light.
Pinkie_Pie raises a hoof high. "I call feets!"
Sugar_Rush spots AppleJack and Derpy. He gives a little wave to each of them.
<OOC> Nettleglum gets an OOC coin to toss, to be fair!
Marble flails and panics, watching the squggly thing in the air. "Um-uh-um heads? Is heads what I'm supposed to call? HEADS!" Fidget fidget.
Pinkie_Pie beams. Oh, good, her campaign poster is here. She directs Carrot Top to unfurl it on the new wall behind her. She turns back to the audience as it's unrolled. xnosidex.deviantart.com/art/Princess-Pinkie-325906860
Derpy waves to Sugar Rush! She holds out a little scrap of paper for him to write a debate question on if he wishes.
MapleWing has arrived.
Plain_Sight is watching with quite a bit of... she's not really sure. "This is even much stranger than the rodeo." She takes some of the punch and drinks.
Fluttershy looks down at her blank slip. Um...hm. Uh. Oh dear. Um. Ah...!
The cephalopod lands with a damp splorch, heads, and begins to scuttle to the darker side of the stage. Moves pretty quick for something out of water. "Heads it is, the first question will be addressed to Muffled Mummery. Mister Mummery, dear." Nettle raises a small card and stares at it flatly. "You have three minutes to answer, 'What does the Chancellor of Ponyville do?'"
Blue_Yonder has arrived.
<OOC> Nettleglum says, "Time limit is an IC thing, not an OOC thing. You don't actually have only three minutes."
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie says, "NO ONLY THREE MINUTES GO GO"
Fluttershy scribbles something and passes it over. Her hooves are sweaty and shaking!
Pinkie_Pie looks at her hooves curiously. Can hooves sweat...?
Rosetta_Stone walks slowly into the room to see what the hay was going on!?
Skyheart cringes at the squid toss. Why not a coin? Ah well... He rests comfortably. So there was a new election? Interesting.
Blue_Yonder quietly steps into the back of the room to see what the crowd's here for.
Marble spots a loose thread on his vest and it is suddenly all he can think about. "Well..." The grabs it in his hooves and tugs at it gently, hoping to tear it off, "...you see... the chancellor is an..." Tug-tug-tug. "...elected.... elected..." He starts turning around on the stage, trying to get a better grip with the loose thread. "...in charge of the whole county, not just one..." TUG! "...not just one-- WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS VEST?" Yank-yank-YANK-YAAANK!!! SNAP! Suddenly Marble's vest snaps right off his body, sailing across he stage and far, *far* into the audience. The stallion staring, the loose thread tightly held in his hooves. Well, he got it! "...um... city?"
Nettleglum listens to Marble's reply without a change of expression. "Fascinating." Neither does her voice waver, being the same deadpan monotone as ever. "Thank you, dear. Most illuminating." She shambles in a half circle to face Pinkie Pie. "Miss Pie. You have one minute to make a rebuttal."
Rosetta_Stone yelps as the vest lands right on her face.
Nettleglum has helpfully left the morningstar within reach of either candidate, based on the rules she's read, which truthfully may have more to do with gladiatorial contests than debates.
Pinkie_Pie beams. "Wonderful! As it happens, my opposition, Marble Mammaries, is totally wrong. Chancellor is an entirely imaginary position with no real power whatsoever. Having played an entirely imaginary Chancellor, Chancellor Puddinghead, I clearly have the best qualifications to be imaginary."
Lightning_Flash has arrived.
Derpy, who is supposed to be impartial, spontaneously applauds from the hall floor.
Pinkie_Pie bows spontaneously!
Nettleglum nods, and the microphone picks up a wince-inducing skreek from her neck. "Miss Pie. Your question. You have three minutes to answer, 'How would you help ponies who are new to Ponyville?'"
Marble stares at Pinkie Pie. What? Imaginary? Now he knows that's not true! And "acting" isn't some political qualification. He stares back at Nettie. She can't be serious!
Derpy runs up to the moderator's pulpit and gives Nettleglum a goutwort muffin. Oh, and a bundle of audience questions.
Pinkie_Pie SLAMS both of her hooves on the podium! "I will help new ponies the same way I'll do everything in office! Spending hours every day lying on cushions, being fed danishes and cupcakes by the best-looking stallions in Ponyville! Furthermore, I will be giving out couches AND cupcaked AND stallions as thinly disguised bribes! Actually, we may need more couches, then. And stallions. Does anyone know where to buy stallions in bulk? The bulkier, the better."
Blue_Yonder starts to raise a hoof, then lowers it again. No, that's scallions.
Nettleglum lurches around to face Marble, her eyes glassy and staring. "Mister Miffled, dear, you have one minute for a rebuttal?" The muffin is placed to the side, where it blisters the podium, as she makes a small stack of the audience questions and begins to stiffly deal a tarot spread of them before her.
Plain_Sight sees they try to answer the question of what is a chancellor. She thinks. Maybe they are just trying to make it less understandable. Though it does sound like some kind of ruler.
"What on earth is my opponent talking about? She just about *admitted* she was corrupt and about to bribe everypony! Listen, a good leader is an *honest* leader who can make decisions on *impartiality!* If she wants to welcome ponies to Pnyville. fine, but she'll waste resources (Not to mention tax bits) on trying to bribes for... what? Exactly?" Marble asks, a bit of sweat gathering on his brow. "A-also, I believe she's encouraging slaveryin her statement... er... somewhere."
Silver_Star has arrived.
Derpy goes back to taking questions from the audience.
Nettleglum lightly taps the timer bell on the podium and it ~GONGS~ with a noise that reverberates throughout the building. Nettie does not apparently notice this. "Our first round is concluded. We will now move on to answer a few of the questions posed by members of our audience, and then a little later, comes the fire juggling. Our first question from the audience goes to Monkey Mortuary. Mister Mortuary, please tell us what you plan to do about the unclean streets in Ponyville. Three minutes dear."
<OOC> Pinkie_Pie examines the 'where' list for everyone who didn't show up. Luna and Bardigan... making out. Dusk and Mirage... making out. Feather and Firefly, making out... ooh, Big Mac, Chance, AND Tejene...
"I wasn't aware Ponyville had any unclean streets. But, one thing you can count on, I can efficiently commission, at low cost, inspections of Ponyville's lanes of transportation for maintenence. Not only will this assure we will have more clean streets, but also bring more jobs to-- Did you just say 'fire juggling' just now?" Marble says, wide-eyed, staring at Nettie again.
"No, dear. Fire juggling in a little while. Patience, please." Nettleglum shambles amiably towards Pinkie. "Miss Pie, one minute for a rebuttal?"
Pinkie_Pie leans over the podium, a grim expression on her face. "If I am elected, I will clean up the streets of Ponyville. With my TONGUE."
Marble slaps the podium with his hoof, muttering, "Oh for the love of--" HE shakes his head. Why do political candidtes always make the impossible promises?
Fluttershy says "N-no, Pinkie Pie, don't do it! I already gave all my antibiotics to sick seahorses!"
Pinkie_Pie (shoo de be doo)
Carrot Top passes through the aisles of the audience, meekly passing out slices of carrot cake on little paper napkins.
Rosetta_Stone happily takes some cake.
Blue_Yonder brightens. Ooh, carrot cake. Always welcome.
Nettleglum can't help but admire than answer, though she is sworn to impartiality, or perhaps, given she may be missing a few organs, partiality. Pinkie gets a nod. Nettie's hoof hovers over her tarot spread and by divination zeros in on another question. She lifts the card and aims her unfocused eyes that way. "Your question, Miss Pie, is 'Um...I-I'd like to a - if it's okay, I mean - the audience - by which I mean one of us - would like to ask, um (cont. on back) how do you feel about wildlife and ecological protection? Thank you. Hopeit'snotroubleThanks.'" This is read in a waxwork's tone that would not shame a museum display. "Three minutes, please."
Derpy dings a loud clerk's bell halfway through Pinkie's answer! Apparently for fun. While hanging from a low balcony.
Pinkie_Pie says "I swear solemnly, if I am elected Ponyville will have the wildest life in Equestria, especially night life. And eco is that glowing white stuff, right? Mutates things? You need to collect it? I'll form a ecological collection agency on my first day, staffed by an orange weaselike creature."
Pinkie_Pie is promptly DINGED, and is a dingy.
Blue_Yonder makes a mental note about 'glowing white stuff that mutates things'. Hmmm. Could be useful.
Nettleglum has some of that in her cupboard, dear. Buy it in bulk. "Mister Mooblery, your one-minute rebuttal, please."
Rosetta_Stone says a little louder than a normal voice, "It is Marble Memory!"
Junebug hustles over to Nettleglum and whispers urgently in her ear.
Plain_Sight's eyes seem to be going back and forth between the candidates, Nettleglum, Derpy, and the audience. She holds the piece of carrot cake too. All the ponies though do seem intent on the two answering questions. She watches more closely as she eats some cake.
"She completely missed the question, madame moderator." Marble points out ever so dutifully. "It's actually very simple. I look at places such as the Everfree and I find myself thinking about what solution there could be there that could also benefit us there... and I have found the answer. ... Um..." MArble suddenly runs backstage, searching frantically through his notes, calling out to the stage, "Time ot time out!" Several moments later, he's back out with a card, 87-Y. "Rangers! PArk rangers. I propose we make the Verfree Equestria's foremost wildlife preserve and sanctuary, maintained by volunteers and government staf alike! Together..." He switches to a new card 25-NB. "...we can all have deep fried hay fries on me. Wait. What the hay?"
Derpy licks her lips. Hay fries.
Tapping, ever so gently, gently, tapping the bell before her, Nettie produces another improbably loud, mournful ~GONNNG~. "Second round, dears. And with everypony on pins and needles." She looks out over the audience and realizes they removed those from the chairs before anypony arrived. ._. Darn. "Now then, we move on to the fire juggling, and..." Lurching around the podium, Nettie begins to stoke a charcoal brazier with torches in it.
Pinkie_Pie ooohs, clapping her hooves! "Fire juggling! And we use the big spiky club this round, too, don't we?"
Derpy tiptoes over to Nettie's pulput and, arcing her foreleg soo far, taptaptaps her gently. "Miss Nettled? So sorry. Is weather marshal. Say not can afford another unschedule wildfire at this time of season. May do Lightning Round instead."
Skyheart tries to look around for somepony he knows and winds up winding through the crowd over to Fluttershy. "Is... Is this normal?" He asks, eyeing the torches. He's not entirely sure he wound up warning her about his presence.
"I-I object!" Marble says frantically. "Being able to juddle flaming lumps of carbon is not a test of leadership or political skill!"
"Um," replies the yellow mare. "...n-no. Not at all."
Nettleglum looks flatly at Derpy. "You're certain, dear? Really. Oh. Highly irregular for a political debate, but, then... yes, all right..." The candiates may breathe a sigh of relief as the brazier is moved aside. And stop breathing it when a large rolling black cantankerous rumbling stormcloud is pushed into the chamber by weather ponies. In Ponyville, Lightning Round strikes /you./
Pinkie_Pie peers up, shading her face with a hoof. "Gosh, political life is so literal."
Derpy gleefully leaps up on top of the highly irregular indoor cloud and takes her position! Ohhh boy.
Rosetta_Stone trots up to the edge of the crowd and offers up Marble's vest for the beaurocrat pony.
Nettleglum clears her throat. Several vultures gather expectantly along the windows, wanting to know where the dying wildebeest is. "I will now ask a series of questions of each candidate. They will have thirty seconds to respond. No rebuttals this round, dears. Question one, Modern Mockery-- 'Which has the greatest capacity to serve us as a people and as a community: Moscopone, marzipan, or meringue?'"
Derpy starts to leap gently, skipping a metallic rope.
"What the [BUY SOME APPLES] kind of question is that? Ohhhh shoot, fine! Meringue! It's the healthiest of the three, surely!"
Marble says in a panic.
Nettleglum whirls, by which we mean lurches, the other way. "Miss Pie: Chimicherry? Or cherrychanga?"
Derpy jumps hard on a spot above him and a rain of golf-ball sized hailstones come tumbling down, covered with a smattering of meringue. Or maybe snow. Or both.
Pinkie_Pie says "Chimicherry! Um, no, cherrychanga! Chimicheery! Choogachonga! Chattanooga!"
Derpy skips hard and fast above Pinkie, and cascades of pink and blue electricity come sizzling toward her!
Nettleglum apparently has a stroke and stiffly veers towards Marble. "Mister Miserly: Will you tell these dummies that 'victoryful' isn't a word?!"
Pinkie_Pie's mane and tail frazz out dramatically! Her body is coated with a light black glaze of soot.
Marble dives under his podium, trying to evade the hailstones. Then he gets his next question. "Yes! Yes! Listen, 'victoryful' is not a word! Look in the dictionary!"
"TOLD you!" chimes a triumphant young voice from the audience.
Derpy flails her jumprope at the cloud like a whip. "HyaAAAH!!" she cries. A spattering of chocolate frogs falls out over Marble.
Nettleglum looms up over Pinkie, lightning blazing behind her. "Miss Pie. If elected, what assurance do we have that you won't surround yourself with yes-ponies, sycophants, buckets of turnips and talking bags of flour?"
Pinkie_Pie says "I'll be too busy surrounding myself with hot stallions, duh!"
The raincloud moves to hover directly over Pinkie. Derpy boingboingboings up and down gleefully, and a huge wash of water just POURS over Pinkie, all at once.
Nettleglum rises out of the floorboards of the stage about eight inches behind Marble and solemnly intones, "Muggy Mobility, is it true that your fiancee once hosted an all-night protest party in the Fillydelphia mayor's living room?"
Pinkie_Pie's soot is washed off, and her hair goes all flat, covering her face entirely.
"No-- I mean-- Yes! NoImean. She didn't *start* the protest, but she joined it after they made their case to her." Marble says in a frantic tone.
Derpy keeps jumping erratically all over the surface of the cloud, her mane flying with yellow static, and with a crack of snappy thunder, the cloud unleashes a dozen bright little lightning bolts in all directions, including at Marble and Nettie, at Pinkie, and into the audience.
Nettleglum asks the last question of the lightning round, one hoof outstretched towards Pinkie. "Daigaku wo suki desu ka, Miss Pie?"
Pinkie_Pie says "I used to be a politician, until I took an arrow in the Romney!"
Pinkie_Pie is zotted by a Derpbolt, and falls over, smoking.
Derpy jumps and jumps so hard that the cloud breaks apart in a flurry of mist, bits flying and dissipating everywhere, and Derpy falls with a splat to the stage.
Pinkie_Pie then has a Derpy fall on top of her.
Fluttershy breaks out the ointment again. Another day in politics.
Lyra and Bonbon step onto the smoking stage with fire extinguishing cream pies and take care of things.
Lyra then wheels out a rack of several dozen attractive and peculiar hats in all shapes and sizes.
Marble peeks out from under his podium. "I survived?"
Nettleglum feels a tingle of lightning. Ooh, just like back home in Castle Grimdark! Uncle Karloff always favored direct current. The cloud dissipates, little tiny drizzles moving about the hall, a few scorch marks on the banners. Nettie calmly shambles back to her podium. "Excellent points both of you. Very fruitful exchange of ideas."
Derpy stands up sheepishly, stretches her wings, and smiles to the crowd.
Plain_Sight watches the candidates and watches bolts go flying by overhead. She does note the audience of ponies tend to laugh and smile at the pink pony's comments and actions. But it's different for the other one.
Rosetta_Stone still has Marble's vest.
Marble reaches out to take his vest, attempting to wear the dishevelld thing. He even tries to push the loose thread he ripped off back into it, to no avail. Then he sees the hat rack. "No. No! I refuse! Hats have nothing to do with performing the duties of administration. Now MONOCLES on the other hoof..."
Nettleglum eyes the growing assortment of hat and checks her notes. Trial by fire, trial by rabid echidna, no trial by hats. They /are/ peculiar in Ponyville. Still, she's not one to disrupt local tradition. "I believe our next, and final portion of the debate, will relate to haberdashery. The candidates each have five minutes to model a minimum of seven hats for the audience. You may begin..." She taps at the bell. It makes a low, scratchy shriek. "Now."
Pinkie_Pie leaps to her feet, and breaks into song.
o/`
Pinkie_Pie o/~ Well you can ride on your bike. Go fly a kite. Make a sticky sandwich in the middle of the night. No you can't do any of that! o/~
Pinkie_Pie whips off her gypsy turban, revealing a chartreuse top hat.
Pinkie_Pie o/~ ... without a hat!
Members of the audience applaud and coo at this display.
Emerald_Star has arrived.
Lightning_Flash has left.
Lyra sighs and lifts a top section of the rack, revealing a case of shining monocles.
Marble stares in horror at the hat rack. After spending a good amount of time selecting one, he finally just puts on one random hat out of desperation: An oversized coboy hat with "COWABUNGA" printed in Comic Sans on the top. "O... o-oh dear." He reaches desperately for a monocle and puts it on (Taking his glasses off first, of course, that would just look ridiculous.) and unfortunately it's got "WWCD" emblazoned on the rim and is VERY dark through the lens.
Pinkie_Pie pirouettes and leaps gracefully over to Marble. o/~ Well you can talk real tough! Huff and puff! Say you didn't mean it and all that stuff! But you can't do that! o/~ She sweeps off the top hat, revealing a gigantic, floppy sun hat. o/~ Noooo, you can't do that! o/~ She sweeps off Marble's cowboy hat, revealing a matching sun hat. o/~ Without a hat! o/~
Marble looks at Pinkie, then at the audience. His vest dishevelled and partly unravelled, a tacky enormous cowboy hat, and a monocle he can't see through. Flailing, he throws off the vest and hat, shakes off the monocle and desperately seeks a new hat. No fashion sense at al, he puts on a cap that looks like a gant duck with Engrish emblazoned on the side, saying "Sometimes I feel like a cloud."
Sugar_Rush just looks confused.
Skyheart isn't much better off.
Nettleglum, in the fray of hats, winds up with a tall black stovepipe hat on her head. ._. This isn't a bad look for her.
Derpy stamps in encouraging rhythm from the back of the stage, first facing one candidate, then the other. Her eyes are excited and her mane frazzled wildly!
Pinkie_Pie puts an arm around her disheveled opponent's shoulder, throwing the other arm... er, foreleg ... wide. o/~ Well you can be real brave! Be real bold! Over come a danger, just as good as gold! But you can't do that -- o/~ She starts tossing hats into the audience, from her head, from Marble's head, from the table of hats. o/~ NOOOO! You can't do that! Without a HAAAT! o/~
Plain_Sight finds her head bobbing to the singing. So curious. And again the audience responds to the confusing antics. She gives some applause much like ponies did at the rodeo when there was a show and a crowd.
With the stage still slippery from the rainstorms, one of the wheeled hat-carts begins to roll, striking the edge of the stage. The cart bounces and spills hats out into the audience more or less at random.
Lyra panics and runs for the cart, grabbing the handle and stopping it short--but the hats just fly wildly into the audience as a result. Oh no!!
Marble flails and nearly fals over when Pinkie grabs hold of him for her musical number. The por felw s just trying to survive. She he goes in to get another hat SOMETHING that makes him distinguished and qualfied. Suddenly, in his hooves is a rabid echidna. "AUGH!" He shoves the growling thig back in the hats and backs away, bumping into a nearby table, the lamp teeters, then falls to the ground, the shade popping up, twirling in the air, and landing neatly on Marble's head. He sighs, resigning himself to his fate. He is in hell.
Plain_Sight ends up with a black bowler hat landing on her head.
You page-pose, "Derpy leaves it to you to coolly wrap things up.
" to NettleglumSkyheart blinks again before looking to Fluttershy again. "....How was the last election this town had? Was it anything like this?"
Pinkie_Pie takes off one last hat, revealing a large cake on her head, and throws that into the audience as well.
Pinkie_Pie says "RANDOM CAKE BRIBE! VOTE FOR PINKIE!"
Marble just stands in the middle of the stage, tears welling up in his eyes. "I... resigned my post in Canterlot... for this?! My entire life is in ruins! I HAVE FAILED MY FIANCE!" He starts bawling like a colt in the middle of the stage, lampshade still on his hed.
Pinkie_Pie pats Marble, and puts a hoofkerchief to his nose. "Blow."
Derpy walks over to the poor bureaucrat. She drapes a foreleg over his neck and says nothing.
Plain_Sight has a slice a pink cake land next to her nearly finished slice of orange carrot cake in her hooves. She blinks at both the hat and the cake. "She was right about there being cake."
SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTT. Marble blows his nose into the hanky, so very upset. Now he has npo prospects. The debate was a disaster!
Nettleglum removes her stovepipe hat, revealing the squid from the toss earlier, the tentacles draped over her braids. It looks, er, befuddled. Perhaps if it pretends to be hair nopony will notice. This probably has a better chance of working with Nettie's head than anypony else. She clears her throat. "The candidates may now each have one minute to make a closing statement, dears. Miss Pie, please go first."
Derpy squeeze so gently.
"I-I don't remember," says Fluttershy to Skyheart. "Miss Mare has been Mayor since I moved to Ponyville. Um..." She trots up on stage right, a wide plaid Stetson on her head, and pats Marble Memory. There, there. SHe leaves the minty ointment and backs away to the audience again.
Pinkie_Pie remains with her foreleg around Marble's shoulder, and gestures with the other. "If elected, I promise not to abuse my po - AHAHAHA! No, I'm joking, you're all voting for me to WATCH me abuse my power! Tell you what, if I'm elected, I'll make my opponent feed me danishes and cupcakes. I know I promised it would be a stallion, but Marble will have to do."
Marble is still standing there, sobing. "I-if elected, I'll promise to be good and honet and..." Sniffle. "...beg forgiveness and love my fiance and-- I want to be so *happy!*" Marble cries again.
Derpy starts a solemn slow clomp.
-CLOMP.-
-CLOMP.-
-CLOMP.- -CLOMP.- -CLOMP.-
Skyheart cringes a bit silently as he decides to confer with his friend more quietly. "She's not really taking this seriously, is she?"
Nettleglum doffs her squid at the candidates. "Her majesty wishes to thank you both for your participation in this first debate. I'm sure everypony in Ponyville has been given a great deal to think about regarding the important issues of the day, dears."
Pinkie_Pie kisses poor Marble on the cheek, and ruffles his mane. "I did warn ya, Marbie."
Sugar_Rush clomps!
Berry Punch tings the punch bowl with the side of a ladle. "Anyone for PUNCH??"
"Only sixteen more debates to go!" squeals Derpy with delight.
"Twelve, dear. The four contests of archery and clog dancing hardly count as debates," murmurs Nettie.
Marble merely sobs in reply. He's going to need to curl up and talk to his fiance and hope she'll still love him in the morning. He knows she will, but still...
Carrot Top finishes passing out cake and heads off.
And from under an errant pile of shaving cream there comes a quiet, '(yay?)'.