Post by Bardigan on Jan 16, 2014 23:48:50 GMT -5
(As the idea for this RP started in the pub channel, I have kept the semi-IC chatter that led to it).
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "And no Milady, this does not mean grabbing the Royal Minter pony and shaking him about."
PUB >> Apple Blossom says, "Blueblood does that to the Minter anyway."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "This explains his twitching."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "And Blueblood does it because he actually thinks that's how money is made."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Marble?! MARBLE! Where are you? I need you to approve this new spa I'm installing in my chambers!"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Get over here so I can shake out your pockets!"
PUB >> Marbsie turns urgently to Luna. "Do I have authority to snidely reject his paperwork?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, gets ready to take flight.
PUB >> Trixie says, "Only the finest."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood grabs Marble and shakes him around. "Only ten to fifteen thousand bits will suffice."
PUB >> Marbsie flails. "I'm not even the Minter pony!
PUB >> Trixie says, "Surely there are mint-ier ponies around."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "I know of one, but he's a roo now. Not a pony."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "... My wife says I'm minty."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood keeps shaking Marble. "Hmm. Not as many money bags as yesterday. We're not loaning from Griffonia again, are we?"
PUB >> Marbsie flails and is getting dizzy.
PUB >> Trixie says, "Try turning him upside down, cousin."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "HE'S YOUR COUSIN!?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "... I was getting to that..."
PUB >> Trixie says, "... many times removed, but he keeps coming back."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "I am thy sister."
PUB >> Marbsie hugs Firefly and kisses her cheek. <3
PUB >> Prince Blueblood turns Marble upside down, shakes vigorously. "Ugh. My hoof is getting TIRED. Aren't there any servants to do this?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, blinks. "Unlip me, lowly sibling!" WHACK!
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, tells father Economist marble kissed her. She is unclean. "And I didn't even get dinner first, the cheapskate."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor peeks back in from her important duties. "We were not paying close attention. Whatever he wants, snidely deny it, Keeper."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Give me your paperwork, Blueblood."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, glares. "It felt more incestually from my end."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "I don't need to validate myself to a clerk! Besides, I'm only getting pocket lint, paper clips, and tickets to that headache-inducing DJ-PON3. What kind of bureaucrat *are* you? There aren't even any pens in here!"
PUB >> Trixie says, "Try shaking harder. Imagine he's a pinata, if that helps."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, grins ear to ear. "A...pinata?"
PUB >> Trixie says, "Full of caaaaandy."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood sighs and gets out the Royal Pinata Popper. "The physical labor one must endure as a Prince..."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor coughs into her hoof delicately, and looms over the assemblage. "DO WE NEED TO SETTLE THIS ROYALLY?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood slooooowly puts away the Popper. "No, Auntie Luna!"
PUB >> Marbsie looks through the forms as he is held upside down. "What the buck is this? It looks like it was filled out by a mentally deranged kindergartener who broke her crayon and decided to use her drool instead. REJECTED."
PUB >> Marbsie files the paperwork where he is. "Time?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood embraces Marble with a hover hoof hug. "We are just being friends. Such nice friends."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, idly grabs one of the dual headed pole-axes from a suit of ancient armor and grins to Marble. "Why brother, why did you now tell me thee were suffering from candy within thee? Don't you know it can be confectous? Hold still, I shall help remove it...."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor ahems. "FIREFLY."
PUB >> Trixie (delicious candy)
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, pauses and peeks back. "Is my choice of cleavers substandard milady?"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor ahems louder. "***FIREFLY***."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Let me go."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "Ohhhhhhh."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "WE HAVE SPOKEN TO THEE OF THIS BEFORE, FIREFLY."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "WHEN THOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN WHO TO TORMENT, WHO IS ALWAYS ON THE TOP OF THE LIST?"
PUB >> Nimble_Hooves quietly hides
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, rubs one wing behind her hoof. "The Royal Prince, Milady."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Hmmm, my snide rejection of the paperwork didn't make Blueblood cry like it usually does."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood begins edging off-screen.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "GET HIM!"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, turns towards Blueblood. "This shall make him cry." grinning.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "CORRECT."
PUB >> Marbsie suddenly runs and tackles Blueblood in a surprising show of athleticism AND strength.
PUB >> Prince Blueblood scampers away. "HELP! REGICIDE! REGICIDE!"
PUB >> Trixie notes 'Prince' is just his first name.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, puts the pole axe back, and selects a large mace with many spikes and a nice length of chain. "Since he has no candy within, this will have to do."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "OH, no no, this only makes nice holes. Thee can live through them so we may 'play' again another day. >
"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "ALSO, PLEASE DO NOT THREATEN OR IMPEDE ANY ROYAL EMPLOYEE - YES, INCLUDING FANCIFUL FRIPERIES - GOING ABOUT THEIR LAWFUL ROYAL DUTIES. THEY COUNT AS INNOCENTS. YES, INCLUDING YORDLE YODELING."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "AS THY EMPLOYER, WE REQUIRE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. PLEASE EXERCISE THE DISCRETION NECESSARY."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "BLUEBLOOD IS OF NO USE TO ANYPONY AND IS INNOCENT IN NO WAY, SO IN SOOTH WE CARE NOT WHAT THOU DO WITH HIM. USE HIM AS A PUNCHING BAG OR A MOP, WE CARE NOT."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, nods. "I understand...shall I continue to...ah, polish, this rare and heavy, pointy device before returning it to the armory?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood pokes his head out of a vase. "I will lodge a formal complaint to the highest authority in the land about this! You'll see!"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "I have heard mace polish is commonly found inside complaining Princes...."
PUB >> Marbsie picks up the vase and smashes it against the wall. "USE MY OFFICE AS A SALON WILL YOU?!?!?!?!"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor leans in again. "Did thee call for the highest authority in the land, great grandson?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, eeeeks. "MILADY! The Keeper of records founf his spine! The end is nigh~"
PUB >> Stardust says, "Wait, he has a spine?"
PUB >> Dusk says, "It is a little worrisome, yes."
PUB >> Marbsie grabs the tree that was *in* the vase and starts swinging it at the prince. "AND IT IS 'REGARDLESS' NOT 'IRREGARDLESS!!!'"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, ooohs..."Wait, false alarm...was just an anti-Blueblood rant. I DO so love a good comedy."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood sniffs at Luna. "Yes! I would like you to know that I have been found the victim of unfair treatment, physical abuse, and general haranguing by the Night Guard! As the commander of the Night Guard, I demand you tell yourself to stop them at once!"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood sees nothing wrong with his logic.
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "... Also, the Royal Artifact Keeper is trying to attack me with a shrubbery."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Make him stop too."
PUB >> Dusk thinks that was about a lifetime's effort on Marble's part.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "Thy should meet the Steward's shrubbery once."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor thinks about Blueblood's request for awhile.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "GREAT GRANDSON."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood blows raspberries at Firefly, because Luna will totally take his side, of course.
PUB >> Trixie says, "Oh, poor deluded Blueblood..."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Yes?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, glares back, spreads her wings, and lets a twin lightning blast 'escort' the Prince through the wall into Cnaterlot. Le faZOWNT!
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Sweet, lovely, generous great-grandmother of mine?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "To whom they just insulted her most trusted of Squires?"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor bops Firefly over the head with her wing, and EATS the lightning blast.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Firefly. Attend. Decorum and fairness is our duty. Thou are our WING, Firefly. Observe our will, and the proper way for it to be carried out."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "BUt he used a bilibial fricative upon me, and thus, you Milady. "
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, steps back and bows.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "In station, of course."
PUB >> Marbsie wakes up at his desk as if nothing has happened. "NEXT!"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Thou have, INDEED, been the victim of hostility and prejudice, great grandson. There is a lack of understanding here that deeply violates harmony, and has led to intolerance and cruelty. We must create empathy between all involved, so that thy treatment shall always be fair and with all the respect thy position earns."
PUB >> Dusk checks that off on his clipboard of notes.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Does this mean Blueblood's going to be a garbage pickup pony?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood puffs himself up a bit, smugly muttering general agreement with Luna.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, watches, hoping the royal blood splattering comes next.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Therefor, we conclude that our servants must learn to respect thee. To show them thy virtue and intelligence and responsibility, the true mettle of thy royal spirit, we assign thee a temporary position in the Rituals office. It is a position of great power and responsibility, for all of Canterlot may be ordered about to meet the needs of our royal rituals."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "MARBLE ROOSEVELT MEMORY."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "... Oh my Celestia YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME! ... I'm dead, aren't I?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Well yes, of cour- wait, er, uh, responsibility?"
PUB >> Marbsie runs hitherto.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, was listening intently, but seems hung up at 'intelligence'
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "As Master of Rituals, Prince Blueblood reports to thee, and is thy minion in the Rituals office for the week. Please assign and oversee his duties carefully. No doubt he shall impress thee with his natural virtues."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood squawks.
PUB >> Marbsie at first seems a little horrified... then thoughtful. "I think I can think of a few rituals for him to perform. Ehehe. HA. HaHAHHA. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! DOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO HOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!" Marble calms down. "Huh, odd. I usually only laugh maniacally in my head.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "BLUEBLOOD. COME HERE."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood tongue flaps at Luna, and then Marble. "Buh uh! Nyeh! I- he- wha-!"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, is griiiiiiining now.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "In fact, SO GREAT is the need for thee to see his TRUE mettle, the strength of his character, his will, and his virtue, that he gives up his access to his royal financial accounts for the week. Instead he shall draw upon the funds of thy account for all of his needs. We understand that this shall place an extra burden on thee of approving or disapproving every purchase he makes, for he shall receive bits only from thy hooves. This is THY sacrifice."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "So... I get 100% discretion over his spending?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood puts his hooves over his heart and falls over.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Of course. There are no official policies to make such decisions, and thou are a senior member of the bureaucracy, and his immediate superior for the week. Thy discretion is the only court of judgment available."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Blueblood, I think it's time I teach you your first ritual."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood stares up at the ceiling, catatonically, no doubt in shock from his immense gratitude to Luna for being given this opportunity.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor stamps her hoof, only shaking the palace a LITTLE. "OUR JUDGMENT IS MADE. Firefly, we require thee to reflect upon it, and upon the behavior proper to Princess Luna's right wing."
PUB >> Marbsie hoofs over a toilet scrubber to the Prince. "Take this, uh... ritual scepter. Yeah."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, of course, HAS to perk her ears at this, even on station at attention. "Of course Milady...reverse the variables to allow retaliation of the distressed party unto the cause of the distress, then stand back and watch the show." looking to Luna. "Yes?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood very slowly and very calmly takes it, and twitches a little.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor reproves Firefly, "OF COURSE NOT," and then winks a lot.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Now, this ritual requires the presence of a very special cauldron and magic potion. "
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, nods, then tilts her head. "Also Milady, should I add burritoes to the Royal Menu this week, or would that be improper?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood gurgles at Marble. "Uhh."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "You doubt the words of the MASTER of RITUALS?!"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor waves a wing. "Truly, Firefly, thou are our SQUIRE. We hope thou can take care of decisions like that without our personal decision. We know it is not completely trivial, depending upon if we have sardines and jalapenos in stock, and our sister's... well, fondness and UNfondness of them, if thou know what we mean. Still, it should be within thy ability to make."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "Of course Milady...I shall add chorizo and some of those picante bowls." then pauses. "Ahhh....and of course, anything that happens to the agressor, now supplicated to the injured party...falls upon his superior, and not thyself." bowing. "Not as fun as exploding, but just as effective." grinning."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor sighs, rubbing her face with her hoof. "It is all about harmony, Firefly. Notice how much more harmonious the palace is now, with no violence going on at all?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood twitches on the floor.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, looks around, "Yes...kinda quiet....this reminds me....it would be a good time to show the locals we have not forgotton the Prune festival this week, by serving the finest prune juices they have."
PUB >> Marbsie stands over him, laughing.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor finally smiles. "NOW, thou show WISDOM, Firefly. Such is the consideration for the happiness of all ponies that we require from our right wing."
Firefly refills her tea. "And another tea cake is lost..." munching on one. "Would thee like to join me, Master of Rituals, as I have some menu modifications for the week, to help honor some of the local fruit growers."
( "Well..." Marble stops to think. Yes. "Tea sounds like it would be excellent." The bureaucrat walks over toward the throne to join Firefly for some tea. )
Prince Blueblood lies on the floor, hugging the "Ritual Scepter" given to him like some kind of teddy bear. He seems to be utterly oblivious to anything else, though he seems to have broken out into a cold sweat over the recent ruling.
Firefly nods with a smile. "I have lemon, of course, and some mint, and earl grey, whichever you prefer." then rolls out a parchment. "I have heard it is Mexipony festival week somewhere dry and cactusy. It would be pleasant to honor them by serving some of their favorite dishes here in the palace, from chipotle and been burritoes to chorizo. Also, the prune growers have not had their wares favored in some time, seek their finiest of prune juices to go with the week of Festival Honors." looking to the Prince. "Ah, good evening, M'lord." bowing to him respectfully.
Luna's horn glows softly. A blue phantom of a princess head prods Blueblood gently with its horn. "Gather thy strength indeed, great grandson, but surely thou must be feeling the boiling of thy royal blood in eagerness to prove thyself. After all, if thou demonstrate thyself a pony of virtue and responsibility, we will be... DISPLEASED if our servants do not respect that."
<OOC> Luna says, "And if he proves himself the fastest flier in Equestria, I shall also take all of Rainbow Dash's trophies away and give them to him."
( Prince Blueblood rolls a little back and forth in response to the poking. Very slowly, like a spider dying in reverse, he begins to uncurl himself. "Yes," he says through a throat as parched as any desert. "Yes. R-r-... re... responsi/bility./" He rolls over and stands up, finally noticing what he was clutching, drops the toilet scrubber with an effeminate squeal, and his gaze locks upon Marble. He gives him a look not unlike a victim of repeated lunch money thievings might give his oppressor years in the future. "V... virtue," he hisses, as though it's a dirty word, though the grim reminder of Luna's disembodied head floating nearby is enough to keep him mostly on course. )
"I've always merely liked bran muffins. Bran cupcakes..." MArble shrugs and takes a plain cup of Earl Gray and looks over at Blueblood. "Your lunch break is almost over, have you been practicing the ritual?" Marble ahems. "And once you learn the virtue of responsibility maybe you might just get another job! Imagine that!"
Firefly says "I have not forgotton your favorite, you shall find them behind the frosting taureen there." nodding to the tray. "They are always there in case you wan..." pausing at the effeminate squeal. "I say, sounds like another filly is loose upon the premises." looking to a guard. "You there, dutiful navvy, patrol the ground and make sure that little one has not snuck in yet again."
Luna nods approvingly to Blueblood, and leans over the side of Celestia's throne lazily. An extended wing flicks in invitation to Marble. "Ritual Master, if we could have another quiet word with thee?"
Prince Blueblood's eye twitches most severely when Marble mentions more jobs. He grunts in agreement, or that might be the sound of him vomiting a little inside his own throat, and picks up the scepter once again. "... Ewwww," he groans. "... Which one do I even *start* with?" he still manages to whine once his faculties are in order. "There's... there's *dozens* of toilets! Hundreds!"
( MArble is about to give Blueblood an order to start with his own toilet when Luna requests a word with him. "Just... stand up and regard your scepter, associate." Marble trots over to Luna and gently sips his tea. "Yes, your highness?" )
Firefly hovers to one side to clear the base of the throne so Marble may freely access it, getting a cupcake and enjoying it while they talk, smiling to the Prince. "And how goes thy promotion? Has this begun to ease the urge to shake palace employees about so rudely yet?"
Luna gives him the 'blandly friendly' version of the Royal Poker Face, and for probably the third time in her millenia of life actually pitches her voice low enough that other people would have to strain to overhear. "We do not recognize the ritual in question. While we agree that great burdens prove great responsibility, perhaps he can be eased in a bit? Surely there are duties more central to thy office that will test his mettle just as well? Thou can always reassign him to more... peripheral duties if he proves unwilling or unreliable."
Prince Blueblood is regarding the scepter all right. He's regarding it with all the regard that a pony might regard a fly he just stepped on. He sniffs, gets a whiff of the toilet the scepter was used on before, and grunts again. This time, it might be him crying on the inside.
PUB >> Princess of Mirkwoo- Everfree, Luna says, "'Hitherto' is one of our great grandson Blueblood's middle names. His mother Astral Luminescent Aurora Twinkling Starscape Spectacular Heavens Spiral Setting Captivatingly Contained Romantic Crescent inherited her mother's fondness for extravagant naming."
( Marble considers for a moment, then he quietly sighs. Luna is right of course. This ritual is too important. "Perhaps I should ease him into artifact keeping." MArble can think of some relatively harmless artifacts he can teach Blueblood how to care for. Oh, if only he had more than a week. "Blueblood, please put away the scepter. We're going to work on something else today." )
Tweed_Patches peeks his head around the corner of the entrance way. He's not sure how this is supposed to work. Does someone announce him? Does one just walk in. He shuffles a little in place before tugging at his bowtie, watching the little gathering of ponies from the far end of the room - he's put on a clean collar and everything.
Firefly refills her tea, then gets up and looks right at Tweed. She spreads her wings and takes off, gliding over to land. "Welcome to Night Court, citizen. May I ask of thy needs?"
Luna's wing curls around under Marble's head as he looks over at Blueblood, pulling the Keeper's face back towards her. "We are not saying that thou should not give him duties of great responsibility that will truly show his dedication to harmony and ponydom. After all, he is a royal prince, and surely has the strength and the virtue of ten ponies, and is eager to display it. Just... keep his duties pertinent. If he excels, no doubt he can be graduated to even more pertinent duties. If he proves unworthy, thou shall have to task him with whatever thou think him still capable. It is our royal wish that everypony get what they deserve, and a chance to prove what they deserve. Such is harmony. Do thou understand?"
Tweed_Patches starts a little as the pegasus lands near him. He blinks rapidly before composing himself, giving Firefly his most ingratiating grin - though to the laypony it might look more like a grimace, "Ah! What-ho." He smooths a rumpled lapel, "I, uh, had a question regarding access to some records..."
Prince Blueblood, now getting bored but too scared to leave the throne room for fear of getting yelled at, balances the toilet scrubbing scepter on his hoof whilst brooding over ways to make Marble give him more money. Grumble grumble not up to royal standards grumble.
Firefly dips her head to Tweed and replies to the visiting guest while Marble and Luna discuss things. "The Keeper of Records is currently in parlay with the Princess Luna. Thy are welcome to wait until he is finished to seek his counsel. If there is a record of anything, he most assuredly knows where and what it is."
( Marble actually thinks he understands. Actually give Blueblood a chance to learn the skill... for real. He begins to rub his hoof to his chin. "I have a better idea. How about... give him to me for a month, I'll teach him the fundamentals of not only artifacts, rituals, and bureaucracy, but independent living, the *non* royal way. He should learn how to keep a budget and a home together. He'll learn useful skills but also how to take care of himself *without* servants and *seven* varieties of mane-spray." Marble's earperks when he hears something about records. "And an opportunity already presented itself." Marble clears his throat. "Blueblood! Today is your lucky day (Relatively speaking.)." He steps out from Luna to let her decide about his proposal. He motions a hoof to Blueblood and Tweed, indicating they both must come to him. )
Luna's wing slips away from Marble's chin, and Luna pushes herself up onto her haunches and front hooves on the throne. She twists, stretching first her left shoulder, then her right. "We are not adverse to that proposal, Ritual Master, but let us begin small. If, after a pair or three of days, thou still feel this plan is wise, return to us and make thy case. For now, our sister's... sunly court chafes us. The Night's Errant STILL has not found the Wispmother. Summat is wrong in the Night, and we wish to go speak to the mists and the dew, perhaps to chase out that imbalance. Do assist the supplicant." With that she steps forward off the throne, walking down the red carpet towards the main doors.
( "Oh joy," Blueblood says tonelessly. He turns around and marches up to Marble, his teeth gritted so hard that they just might even crack (and *that* would be a catastrophe). "Yes, Ritual Master?" he hisses, showing his ire a bit more clearly now that Luna's back is turned. "What. Can I... h... heee... *help* you... with?" )
Firefly bows as Luna passes, saying nothing more as Marble has summoned the guest already, and there were patrols to be flown.
Tweed_Patches gives Firefly another smile, bobbing his head politely, "Ah, very good." He's just sat down to wait (and boy does he know how to wait!) when he sees Marble motion to him. He blinks a few times, glancing from Marble to Firefly, and back, "Er..." He stands, "Should I - uh..." He hums, "Oh, thank you. Cheerio!" And then trots down the hall towards Marble.
"Okay, Blueblood, you're going to learn how to take notes and look up files. Trust me, you'll need this if you want to get into working in my vault or performing *real* rituals." Marble says, trying to be supportive, against his better judgement. But maybe Blueblood could go from spoiled to LIKEABLE if he could just do something productive for a change. He smiles to Tweed. "Hello, I am Marble R. Memory, Keeper of Artifacts, Master of Rituals, Filer of Late Study Paperwork, Assistant Dean of the University of Canterlot School of Bureaucratic Sciences. How may I assist you?"
"And in time, my good Prince, perhaps you will ever do something useful." Nightshade emerges, as she is wont to do, from the shadows right behind her addressee, like she just happened to be walking there the whole time. "I do hope that Mr. Memory will make things...interesting enough." She glances at Tweed, too, eyeing him perspicaciously.
( "*Real* rituals?!" Blueblood declares, loud enough that his voice echoes through the hall. "You mean I'm just going to be some *pencil pusher?* I've never been so insulted! You can't just tell me I won't even be doing anything important! I demand to speak to your superior-..." He trails off, remembering what just happened the *last* time he complained to authority, and swallows his own words. Is he learning already? "Look, you glorified paper weight collector, if we're going to be stuck together, I insist you give me something substantial! Luna herself told me that I have virtue and responsibility! And I *will* show it, or I will have Celestia lock you in the dungeon! So there." )
Luna makes her exit as she is wont. She walks down the hall with regal patience and calm, and only when she's almost at the double doors are they forced open by a violent gust of icy winter wind. A patchwork of frost forms over the stones and hall near the entrance, and Luna's color drains away into grey, and then into white. Her whole body turns transleucent as the blue abandons her, and finally she dissolves into snowflakes that merge with the mist. The same wind blows back out the doors, which snap shut behind her.
Tweed_Patches perks his ears right up as Marble introduces himself, "Oh! What ho, what ho! What a stroke of luck!" He inclines his head, tugging a card from his top jacket pocket, offering it Marble, speaking around it, "I'm Dr Harris-Tweed, visiting professor from Damsbridge. Magical Naturalis; natural philosophy, whot? I've spoken with the Provost, but I've not met any other academic types from the Uni. Pleased to meet you, I'm sure!" He's practically beaming, not seeming to notice Blueblood at all any more. There's a colleague (of sorts) at hoof!
Marble takes the card and takes a look. And then Blueblood gets impatient. Marble stays calm and collected, calmly presses the card into a pocket for examination later, takes three deep breaths, and turns to face the prince. "'Pencil pushing' as you call it is a fundamental core skill to *any* job I perform. When I handle an artifact I keep *detailed records.* If I don't and somepony else tries to handle the same artifacts without knowing any of my prior observations..." Marble holds up his teacup and swiftly smashes it between his hooves. "If you want the 'good' jobs, you need experience, and to learn the *FUNDAMENTALS.* You don't get to head a department by ignoring the basics! Nopony here, by the way, is saying you're not doing something *important.* But *you* *will* *learn* *the* *basics.* Got it, or do I need to destroy MORE teaware to make my point, associate?!"
Nightshade decides that Marble has Blueblood well in hoof (she's well aware that the Prince has trod onto ground no pony dares to). Thus, she turns aside and speaks with Tweed. "I believe you might be looking for somepony like me, then, Dr. Tweed. I am published in a number of journals myself, though admitedly my subject-matter is...quite esoteric."
Prince Blueblood rears up, puffing out his chest ever more the longer Marble rages at him until he looks like he's about to transform into a balloon. The Prince lets out little spurts of breath when the word 'associate' rolls off Marble's tongue. "Pppt. Ppt! Pt!" he says, about to practically explode he's so red in the face from a pony of lower rank trying to get uppity with him, and then remembers that this pony's in charge of his precious, precious finances. Oooh, Luna, you sly dog. Slave my allowance to this little pedant, will you! He slowly lets out the breath again without letting out a stream of obscenities, which really is quite an accomplishment for Blueblood. "Basics," he mutters under his breath. "Basics. *Basics.* All right. All right! You have won. I'll suffer these depredations to my royal person, if only to satisfy Royal Decree! Do you hear that, Marble Malooper Mebble-webble or whatever your name is? I am *only*, ONLY doing this because of the Princess' command." He leans down and shoves his head against Marble's. "Because I. Am. A. PRINCE."
Tweed_Patches's card lists his name in it's full, absurd, double-barreled glory: Dr Brittlegum Wilberforce Harris-Tweed DD, PhD, associate professor of Natural Magic, Princess' College, Dambridge. He gives Marble his blandest smile before blinking rapidly, looking to Blueblood. How could he have failed to notice the unicorn, particularly a unicorn with such a big mo- He squeaks to himself as Nightshade breaks in on his thoughts and turns to look at her, favoring her with another smile, "Oh! Well, I say. Seems I only needed to come up the hill to find ponies to talk to. Pleased very much! But please, please, call me Tweedy. We're ponies of learning, we needn't stand on ceremony! But, please. Esoteric? Say all! I burn to hear."
Marble's a dad. He's got three kids, he loves all three, and he knows a tantrum when he sees one. First rule of a tantrum: Let them get it off their chest. Second rule, stay calm, and reassert you know best and you are making the decision for their own good. "Not today. Not for the next week. And if you hope to cross the threshold to being a good prince everypony can respect from the side of being, and may Luna and Celestia forgive my parlance, a spoiled brat with a title, you'll learn how to serve. That's right, I said *serve.* Ask any of the Princesses and they'll tell you their job is hard work. You get perks, but there's the responsibility. You look after your ponies. Be loyal to those loyal to you, and always be ready to work hard and *learn.* Understand? Right now, Blueblood, I don't care if you are a prince. I care about one thing, encouraging you to cross that threshold. I want you to learn. I want you to *want* to learn or I'm going to end up wasting an otherwise productive week I could have spent with my wife and my foals."
Marble takes a deep breath, keeping calm. He turns to tweed. "Now... where was I? How could we help you? Do you need us to retrieve something?"
Nightshade is happy to oblige and let Marble handle the foals. "A welcome, ah, 'Tweedy'. My speciality is the study of pre-Elementalist magical techniques such as runes, ley conduits, and Nominology. In particular I have been studying the innate capacity of all ponies to be attuned to the Aether."
Tweed_Patches opens his eyes a little wider as he listens to Nightshade, nodding quickly, "I see, I see! It seems we work along similar lines! While I've not touched on ley lines, I have done a small amount of work on runes - I worked with a fellow who was doing research on pre-classical solar worship, and connections to creation myth of the moose. Fascinating stuff! Wooden houses of worship made to stand in for the mythic worldtree, where the survivors or the end-times found refuge from the wrath of the gods. Fonts, cypts, fascinating stuff! He knew my work on the semiology of the Ars Manga, which I admit has little bearing on runes, but symbols are symbols, after all and... Uh..." He blinks a few times, finally noticing Marble. He holds up a hoof to Nightshade, "Pardon me, just a second?" Then smiles to Marble again, "Uh, yes - I had met a pony in - uh - That town down at the bottom of the hill. Filly, actually, claimed not to be able to feel anything at all. Grew very standoffish when I said I'd like to ask her some questions - there had been some tests she'd participated in? I was wondering if there was any chance of finding those records, and reviewing them. Fascinating stuff! I'd like to see what the record had to say."
Prince Blueblood almost can't believe what he's hearing. Somepony is telling him that he must *improve?* What? Is... is that a thing Princes do? He looks down at Marble and snorts. "Well. If you're going to talk *down* to me..." he says with a little huff. "Everypony around here thinks I don't understand what it is to be a Prince! But I do! And you know what? I'll show you! I'll show you all!" He prances away, putting his hoof in the air. "Do you hear me, Mabble Blabble Whoever?! I'll show you! I'll do your stupid, degrading, menial tasks, and they will be the best you've ever seen! Then you'll see! You'll *all* see! Nopony will make fun of me again! Ever!" And with that, without even waiting to hear what task Marble has for him, he trots off with his nose in the air.
Marble watches as the prince trots away before Marble even gives him a task to do. What is he going to do, walk into Marble's office and stare blankly at the filing cabinets until realization sets in? Marble facehooves and sheakes his head. The first of what is likely many headaches to come is already setting in. He listens to Tweed's description of the filly, and after a moment's thought, he says, "That sounds like Diamond Dancer. W-wait here, I'll try and teach Blueblood how to use my filing system and I'll get you all the public records for the filly in question." The pegasus stallion begins to trot after Blueblood to make sure nothing disastrous follows.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "And no Milady, this does not mean grabbing the Royal Minter pony and shaking him about."
PUB >> Apple Blossom says, "Blueblood does that to the Minter anyway."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "This explains his twitching."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "And Blueblood does it because he actually thinks that's how money is made."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Marble?! MARBLE! Where are you? I need you to approve this new spa I'm installing in my chambers!"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Get over here so I can shake out your pockets!"
PUB >> Marbsie turns urgently to Luna. "Do I have authority to snidely reject his paperwork?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, gets ready to take flight.
PUB >> Trixie says, "Only the finest."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood grabs Marble and shakes him around. "Only ten to fifteen thousand bits will suffice."
PUB >> Marbsie flails. "I'm not even the Minter pony!
PUB >> Trixie says, "Surely there are mint-ier ponies around."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "I know of one, but he's a roo now. Not a pony."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "... My wife says I'm minty."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood keeps shaking Marble. "Hmm. Not as many money bags as yesterday. We're not loaning from Griffonia again, are we?"
PUB >> Marbsie flails and is getting dizzy.
PUB >> Trixie says, "Try turning him upside down, cousin."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "HE'S YOUR COUSIN!?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "... I was getting to that..."
PUB >> Trixie says, "... many times removed, but he keeps coming back."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "I am thy sister."
PUB >> Marbsie hugs Firefly and kisses her cheek. <3
PUB >> Prince Blueblood turns Marble upside down, shakes vigorously. "Ugh. My hoof is getting TIRED. Aren't there any servants to do this?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, blinks. "Unlip me, lowly sibling!" WHACK!
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, tells father Economist marble kissed her. She is unclean. "And I didn't even get dinner first, the cheapskate."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor peeks back in from her important duties. "We were not paying close attention. Whatever he wants, snidely deny it, Keeper."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Give me your paperwork, Blueblood."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, glares. "It felt more incestually from my end."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "I don't need to validate myself to a clerk! Besides, I'm only getting pocket lint, paper clips, and tickets to that headache-inducing DJ-PON3. What kind of bureaucrat *are* you? There aren't even any pens in here!"
PUB >> Trixie says, "Try shaking harder. Imagine he's a pinata, if that helps."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, grins ear to ear. "A...pinata?"
PUB >> Trixie says, "Full of caaaaandy."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood sighs and gets out the Royal Pinata Popper. "The physical labor one must endure as a Prince..."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor coughs into her hoof delicately, and looms over the assemblage. "DO WE NEED TO SETTLE THIS ROYALLY?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood slooooowly puts away the Popper. "No, Auntie Luna!"
PUB >> Marbsie looks through the forms as he is held upside down. "What the buck is this? It looks like it was filled out by a mentally deranged kindergartener who broke her crayon and decided to use her drool instead. REJECTED."
PUB >> Marbsie files the paperwork where he is. "Time?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood embraces Marble with a hover hoof hug. "We are just being friends. Such nice friends."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, idly grabs one of the dual headed pole-axes from a suit of ancient armor and grins to Marble. "Why brother, why did you now tell me thee were suffering from candy within thee? Don't you know it can be confectous? Hold still, I shall help remove it...."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor ahems. "FIREFLY."
PUB >> Trixie (delicious candy)
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, pauses and peeks back. "Is my choice of cleavers substandard milady?"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor ahems louder. "***FIREFLY***."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Let me go."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "Ohhhhhhh."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "WE HAVE SPOKEN TO THEE OF THIS BEFORE, FIREFLY."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "WHEN THOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN WHO TO TORMENT, WHO IS ALWAYS ON THE TOP OF THE LIST?"
PUB >> Nimble_Hooves quietly hides
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, rubs one wing behind her hoof. "The Royal Prince, Milady."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Hmmm, my snide rejection of the paperwork didn't make Blueblood cry like it usually does."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood begins edging off-screen.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "GET HIM!"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, turns towards Blueblood. "This shall make him cry." grinning.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "CORRECT."
PUB >> Marbsie suddenly runs and tackles Blueblood in a surprising show of athleticism AND strength.
PUB >> Prince Blueblood scampers away. "HELP! REGICIDE! REGICIDE!"
PUB >> Trixie notes 'Prince' is just his first name.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, puts the pole axe back, and selects a large mace with many spikes and a nice length of chain. "Since he has no candy within, this will have to do."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "OH, no no, this only makes nice holes. Thee can live through them so we may 'play' again another day. >
"PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "ALSO, PLEASE DO NOT THREATEN OR IMPEDE ANY ROYAL EMPLOYEE - YES, INCLUDING FANCIFUL FRIPERIES - GOING ABOUT THEIR LAWFUL ROYAL DUTIES. THEY COUNT AS INNOCENTS. YES, INCLUDING YORDLE YODELING."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "AS THY EMPLOYER, WE REQUIRE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. PLEASE EXERCISE THE DISCRETION NECESSARY."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "BLUEBLOOD IS OF NO USE TO ANYPONY AND IS INNOCENT IN NO WAY, SO IN SOOTH WE CARE NOT WHAT THOU DO WITH HIM. USE HIM AS A PUNCHING BAG OR A MOP, WE CARE NOT."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, nods. "I understand...shall I continue to...ah, polish, this rare and heavy, pointy device before returning it to the armory?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood pokes his head out of a vase. "I will lodge a formal complaint to the highest authority in the land about this! You'll see!"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "I have heard mace polish is commonly found inside complaining Princes...."
PUB >> Marbsie picks up the vase and smashes it against the wall. "USE MY OFFICE AS A SALON WILL YOU?!?!?!?!"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor leans in again. "Did thee call for the highest authority in the land, great grandson?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, eeeeks. "MILADY! The Keeper of records founf his spine! The end is nigh~"
PUB >> Stardust says, "Wait, he has a spine?"
PUB >> Dusk says, "It is a little worrisome, yes."
PUB >> Marbsie grabs the tree that was *in* the vase and starts swinging it at the prince. "AND IT IS 'REGARDLESS' NOT 'IRREGARDLESS!!!'"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, ooohs..."Wait, false alarm...was just an anti-Blueblood rant. I DO so love a good comedy."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood sniffs at Luna. "Yes! I would like you to know that I have been found the victim of unfair treatment, physical abuse, and general haranguing by the Night Guard! As the commander of the Night Guard, I demand you tell yourself to stop them at once!"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood sees nothing wrong with his logic.
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "... Also, the Royal Artifact Keeper is trying to attack me with a shrubbery."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Make him stop too."
PUB >> Dusk thinks that was about a lifetime's effort on Marble's part.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "Thy should meet the Steward's shrubbery once."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor thinks about Blueblood's request for awhile.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "GREAT GRANDSON."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood blows raspberries at Firefly, because Luna will totally take his side, of course.
PUB >> Trixie says, "Oh, poor deluded Blueblood..."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Yes?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, glares back, spreads her wings, and lets a twin lightning blast 'escort' the Prince through the wall into Cnaterlot. Le faZOWNT!
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Sweet, lovely, generous great-grandmother of mine?"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "To whom they just insulted her most trusted of Squires?"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor bops Firefly over the head with her wing, and EATS the lightning blast.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Firefly. Attend. Decorum and fairness is our duty. Thou are our WING, Firefly. Observe our will, and the proper way for it to be carried out."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "BUt he used a bilibial fricative upon me, and thus, you Milady. "
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, steps back and bows.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "In station, of course."
PUB >> Marbsie wakes up at his desk as if nothing has happened. "NEXT!"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Thou have, INDEED, been the victim of hostility and prejudice, great grandson. There is a lack of understanding here that deeply violates harmony, and has led to intolerance and cruelty. We must create empathy between all involved, so that thy treatment shall always be fair and with all the respect thy position earns."
PUB >> Dusk checks that off on his clipboard of notes.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Does this mean Blueblood's going to be a garbage pickup pony?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood puffs himself up a bit, smugly muttering general agreement with Luna.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, watches, hoping the royal blood splattering comes next.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Therefor, we conclude that our servants must learn to respect thee. To show them thy virtue and intelligence and responsibility, the true mettle of thy royal spirit, we assign thee a temporary position in the Rituals office. It is a position of great power and responsibility, for all of Canterlot may be ordered about to meet the needs of our royal rituals."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "MARBLE ROOSEVELT MEMORY."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "... Oh my Celestia YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME! ... I'm dead, aren't I?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood says, "Well yes, of cour- wait, er, uh, responsibility?"
PUB >> Marbsie runs hitherto.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, was listening intently, but seems hung up at 'intelligence'
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "As Master of Rituals, Prince Blueblood reports to thee, and is thy minion in the Rituals office for the week. Please assign and oversee his duties carefully. No doubt he shall impress thee with his natural virtues."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood squawks.
PUB >> Marbsie at first seems a little horrified... then thoughtful. "I think I can think of a few rituals for him to perform. Ehehe. HA. HaHAHHA. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! DOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO HOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!" Marble calms down. "Huh, odd. I usually only laugh maniacally in my head.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "BLUEBLOOD. COME HERE."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood tongue flaps at Luna, and then Marble. "Buh uh! Nyeh! I- he- wha-!"
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, is griiiiiiining now.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "In fact, SO GREAT is the need for thee to see his TRUE mettle, the strength of his character, his will, and his virtue, that he gives up his access to his royal financial accounts for the week. Instead he shall draw upon the funds of thy account for all of his needs. We understand that this shall place an extra burden on thee of approving or disapproving every purchase he makes, for he shall receive bits only from thy hooves. This is THY sacrifice."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "So... I get 100% discretion over his spending?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood puts his hooves over his heart and falls over.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor says, "Of course. There are no official policies to make such decisions, and thou are a senior member of the bureaucracy, and his immediate superior for the week. Thy discretion is the only court of judgment available."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Blueblood, I think it's time I teach you your first ritual."
PUB >> Prince Blueblood stares up at the ceiling, catatonically, no doubt in shock from his immense gratitude to Luna for being given this opportunity.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor stamps her hoof, only shaking the palace a LITTLE. "OUR JUDGMENT IS MADE. Firefly, we require thee to reflect upon it, and upon the behavior proper to Princess Luna's right wing."
PUB >> Marbsie hoofs over a toilet scrubber to the Prince. "Take this, uh... ritual scepter. Yeah."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, of course, HAS to perk her ears at this, even on station at attention. "Of course Milady...reverse the variables to allow retaliation of the distressed party unto the cause of the distress, then stand back and watch the show." looking to Luna. "Yes?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood very slowly and very calmly takes it, and twitches a little.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor reproves Firefly, "OF COURSE NOT," and then winks a lot.
PUB >> Marbsie says, "Now, this ritual requires the presence of a very special cauldron and magic potion. "
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, nods, then tilts her head. "Also Milady, should I add burritoes to the Royal Menu this week, or would that be improper?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood gurgles at Marble. "Uhh."
PUB >> Marbsie says, "You doubt the words of the MASTER of RITUALS?!"
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor waves a wing. "Truly, Firefly, thou are our SQUIRE. We hope thou can take care of decisions like that without our personal decision. We know it is not completely trivial, depending upon if we have sardines and jalapenos in stock, and our sister's... well, fondness and UNfondness of them, if thou know what we mean. Still, it should be within thy ability to make."
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, says, "Of course Milady...I shall add chorizo and some of those picante bowls." then pauses. "Ahhh....and of course, anything that happens to the agressor, now supplicated to the injured party...falls upon his superior, and not thyself." bowing. "Not as fun as exploding, but just as effective." grinning."
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor sighs, rubbing her face with her hoof. "It is all about harmony, Firefly. Notice how much more harmonious the palace is now, with no violence going on at all?"
PUB >> Prince Blueblood twitches on the floor.
PUB >> Firefly, Lunar Squire, looks around, "Yes...kinda quiet....this reminds me....it would be a good time to show the locals we have not forgotton the Prune festival this week, by serving the finest prune juices they have."
PUB >> Marbsie stands over him, laughing.
PUB >> Luna in grave and dignified silver armor finally smiles. "NOW, thou show WISDOM, Firefly. Such is the consideration for the happiness of all ponies that we require from our right wing."
Firefly refills her tea. "And another tea cake is lost..." munching on one. "Would thee like to join me, Master of Rituals, as I have some menu modifications for the week, to help honor some of the local fruit growers."
( "Well..." Marble stops to think. Yes. "Tea sounds like it would be excellent." The bureaucrat walks over toward the throne to join Firefly for some tea. )
Prince Blueblood lies on the floor, hugging the "Ritual Scepter" given to him like some kind of teddy bear. He seems to be utterly oblivious to anything else, though he seems to have broken out into a cold sweat over the recent ruling.
Firefly nods with a smile. "I have lemon, of course, and some mint, and earl grey, whichever you prefer." then rolls out a parchment. "I have heard it is Mexipony festival week somewhere dry and cactusy. It would be pleasant to honor them by serving some of their favorite dishes here in the palace, from chipotle and been burritoes to chorizo. Also, the prune growers have not had their wares favored in some time, seek their finiest of prune juices to go with the week of Festival Honors." looking to the Prince. "Ah, good evening, M'lord." bowing to him respectfully.
Luna's horn glows softly. A blue phantom of a princess head prods Blueblood gently with its horn. "Gather thy strength indeed, great grandson, but surely thou must be feeling the boiling of thy royal blood in eagerness to prove thyself. After all, if thou demonstrate thyself a pony of virtue and responsibility, we will be... DISPLEASED if our servants do not respect that."
<OOC> Luna says, "And if he proves himself the fastest flier in Equestria, I shall also take all of Rainbow Dash's trophies away and give them to him."
( Prince Blueblood rolls a little back and forth in response to the poking. Very slowly, like a spider dying in reverse, he begins to uncurl himself. "Yes," he says through a throat as parched as any desert. "Yes. R-r-... re... responsi/bility./" He rolls over and stands up, finally noticing what he was clutching, drops the toilet scrubber with an effeminate squeal, and his gaze locks upon Marble. He gives him a look not unlike a victim of repeated lunch money thievings might give his oppressor years in the future. "V... virtue," he hisses, as though it's a dirty word, though the grim reminder of Luna's disembodied head floating nearby is enough to keep him mostly on course. )
"I've always merely liked bran muffins. Bran cupcakes..." MArble shrugs and takes a plain cup of Earl Gray and looks over at Blueblood. "Your lunch break is almost over, have you been practicing the ritual?" Marble ahems. "And once you learn the virtue of responsibility maybe you might just get another job! Imagine that!"
Firefly says "I have not forgotton your favorite, you shall find them behind the frosting taureen there." nodding to the tray. "They are always there in case you wan..." pausing at the effeminate squeal. "I say, sounds like another filly is loose upon the premises." looking to a guard. "You there, dutiful navvy, patrol the ground and make sure that little one has not snuck in yet again."
Luna nods approvingly to Blueblood, and leans over the side of Celestia's throne lazily. An extended wing flicks in invitation to Marble. "Ritual Master, if we could have another quiet word with thee?"
Prince Blueblood's eye twitches most severely when Marble mentions more jobs. He grunts in agreement, or that might be the sound of him vomiting a little inside his own throat, and picks up the scepter once again. "... Ewwww," he groans. "... Which one do I even *start* with?" he still manages to whine once his faculties are in order. "There's... there's *dozens* of toilets! Hundreds!"
( MArble is about to give Blueblood an order to start with his own toilet when Luna requests a word with him. "Just... stand up and regard your scepter, associate." Marble trots over to Luna and gently sips his tea. "Yes, your highness?" )
Firefly hovers to one side to clear the base of the throne so Marble may freely access it, getting a cupcake and enjoying it while they talk, smiling to the Prince. "And how goes thy promotion? Has this begun to ease the urge to shake palace employees about so rudely yet?"
Luna gives him the 'blandly friendly' version of the Royal Poker Face, and for probably the third time in her millenia of life actually pitches her voice low enough that other people would have to strain to overhear. "We do not recognize the ritual in question. While we agree that great burdens prove great responsibility, perhaps he can be eased in a bit? Surely there are duties more central to thy office that will test his mettle just as well? Thou can always reassign him to more... peripheral duties if he proves unwilling or unreliable."
Prince Blueblood is regarding the scepter all right. He's regarding it with all the regard that a pony might regard a fly he just stepped on. He sniffs, gets a whiff of the toilet the scepter was used on before, and grunts again. This time, it might be him crying on the inside.
PUB >> Princess of Mirkwoo- Everfree, Luna says, "'Hitherto' is one of our great grandson Blueblood's middle names. His mother Astral Luminescent Aurora Twinkling Starscape Spectacular Heavens Spiral Setting Captivatingly Contained Romantic Crescent inherited her mother's fondness for extravagant naming."
( Marble considers for a moment, then he quietly sighs. Luna is right of course. This ritual is too important. "Perhaps I should ease him into artifact keeping." MArble can think of some relatively harmless artifacts he can teach Blueblood how to care for. Oh, if only he had more than a week. "Blueblood, please put away the scepter. We're going to work on something else today." )
Tweed_Patches peeks his head around the corner of the entrance way. He's not sure how this is supposed to work. Does someone announce him? Does one just walk in. He shuffles a little in place before tugging at his bowtie, watching the little gathering of ponies from the far end of the room - he's put on a clean collar and everything.
Firefly refills her tea, then gets up and looks right at Tweed. She spreads her wings and takes off, gliding over to land. "Welcome to Night Court, citizen. May I ask of thy needs?"
Luna's wing curls around under Marble's head as he looks over at Blueblood, pulling the Keeper's face back towards her. "We are not saying that thou should not give him duties of great responsibility that will truly show his dedication to harmony and ponydom. After all, he is a royal prince, and surely has the strength and the virtue of ten ponies, and is eager to display it. Just... keep his duties pertinent. If he excels, no doubt he can be graduated to even more pertinent duties. If he proves unworthy, thou shall have to task him with whatever thou think him still capable. It is our royal wish that everypony get what they deserve, and a chance to prove what they deserve. Such is harmony. Do thou understand?"
Tweed_Patches starts a little as the pegasus lands near him. He blinks rapidly before composing himself, giving Firefly his most ingratiating grin - though to the laypony it might look more like a grimace, "Ah! What-ho." He smooths a rumpled lapel, "I, uh, had a question regarding access to some records..."
Prince Blueblood, now getting bored but too scared to leave the throne room for fear of getting yelled at, balances the toilet scrubbing scepter on his hoof whilst brooding over ways to make Marble give him more money. Grumble grumble not up to royal standards grumble.
Firefly dips her head to Tweed and replies to the visiting guest while Marble and Luna discuss things. "The Keeper of Records is currently in parlay with the Princess Luna. Thy are welcome to wait until he is finished to seek his counsel. If there is a record of anything, he most assuredly knows where and what it is."
( Marble actually thinks he understands. Actually give Blueblood a chance to learn the skill... for real. He begins to rub his hoof to his chin. "I have a better idea. How about... give him to me for a month, I'll teach him the fundamentals of not only artifacts, rituals, and bureaucracy, but independent living, the *non* royal way. He should learn how to keep a budget and a home together. He'll learn useful skills but also how to take care of himself *without* servants and *seven* varieties of mane-spray." Marble's earperks when he hears something about records. "And an opportunity already presented itself." Marble clears his throat. "Blueblood! Today is your lucky day (Relatively speaking.)." He steps out from Luna to let her decide about his proposal. He motions a hoof to Blueblood and Tweed, indicating they both must come to him. )
Luna's wing slips away from Marble's chin, and Luna pushes herself up onto her haunches and front hooves on the throne. She twists, stretching first her left shoulder, then her right. "We are not adverse to that proposal, Ritual Master, but let us begin small. If, after a pair or three of days, thou still feel this plan is wise, return to us and make thy case. For now, our sister's... sunly court chafes us. The Night's Errant STILL has not found the Wispmother. Summat is wrong in the Night, and we wish to go speak to the mists and the dew, perhaps to chase out that imbalance. Do assist the supplicant." With that she steps forward off the throne, walking down the red carpet towards the main doors.
( "Oh joy," Blueblood says tonelessly. He turns around and marches up to Marble, his teeth gritted so hard that they just might even crack (and *that* would be a catastrophe). "Yes, Ritual Master?" he hisses, showing his ire a bit more clearly now that Luna's back is turned. "What. Can I... h... heee... *help* you... with?" )
Firefly bows as Luna passes, saying nothing more as Marble has summoned the guest already, and there were patrols to be flown.
Tweed_Patches gives Firefly another smile, bobbing his head politely, "Ah, very good." He's just sat down to wait (and boy does he know how to wait!) when he sees Marble motion to him. He blinks a few times, glancing from Marble to Firefly, and back, "Er..." He stands, "Should I - uh..." He hums, "Oh, thank you. Cheerio!" And then trots down the hall towards Marble.
"Okay, Blueblood, you're going to learn how to take notes and look up files. Trust me, you'll need this if you want to get into working in my vault or performing *real* rituals." Marble says, trying to be supportive, against his better judgement. But maybe Blueblood could go from spoiled to LIKEABLE if he could just do something productive for a change. He smiles to Tweed. "Hello, I am Marble R. Memory, Keeper of Artifacts, Master of Rituals, Filer of Late Study Paperwork, Assistant Dean of the University of Canterlot School of Bureaucratic Sciences. How may I assist you?"
"And in time, my good Prince, perhaps you will ever do something useful." Nightshade emerges, as she is wont to do, from the shadows right behind her addressee, like she just happened to be walking there the whole time. "I do hope that Mr. Memory will make things...interesting enough." She glances at Tweed, too, eyeing him perspicaciously.
( "*Real* rituals?!" Blueblood declares, loud enough that his voice echoes through the hall. "You mean I'm just going to be some *pencil pusher?* I've never been so insulted! You can't just tell me I won't even be doing anything important! I demand to speak to your superior-..." He trails off, remembering what just happened the *last* time he complained to authority, and swallows his own words. Is he learning already? "Look, you glorified paper weight collector, if we're going to be stuck together, I insist you give me something substantial! Luna herself told me that I have virtue and responsibility! And I *will* show it, or I will have Celestia lock you in the dungeon! So there." )
Luna makes her exit as she is wont. She walks down the hall with regal patience and calm, and only when she's almost at the double doors are they forced open by a violent gust of icy winter wind. A patchwork of frost forms over the stones and hall near the entrance, and Luna's color drains away into grey, and then into white. Her whole body turns transleucent as the blue abandons her, and finally she dissolves into snowflakes that merge with the mist. The same wind blows back out the doors, which snap shut behind her.
Tweed_Patches perks his ears right up as Marble introduces himself, "Oh! What ho, what ho! What a stroke of luck!" He inclines his head, tugging a card from his top jacket pocket, offering it Marble, speaking around it, "I'm Dr Harris-Tweed, visiting professor from Damsbridge. Magical Naturalis; natural philosophy, whot? I've spoken with the Provost, but I've not met any other academic types from the Uni. Pleased to meet you, I'm sure!" He's practically beaming, not seeming to notice Blueblood at all any more. There's a colleague (of sorts) at hoof!
Marble takes the card and takes a look. And then Blueblood gets impatient. Marble stays calm and collected, calmly presses the card into a pocket for examination later, takes three deep breaths, and turns to face the prince. "'Pencil pushing' as you call it is a fundamental core skill to *any* job I perform. When I handle an artifact I keep *detailed records.* If I don't and somepony else tries to handle the same artifacts without knowing any of my prior observations..." Marble holds up his teacup and swiftly smashes it between his hooves. "If you want the 'good' jobs, you need experience, and to learn the *FUNDAMENTALS.* You don't get to head a department by ignoring the basics! Nopony here, by the way, is saying you're not doing something *important.* But *you* *will* *learn* *the* *basics.* Got it, or do I need to destroy MORE teaware to make my point, associate?!"
Nightshade decides that Marble has Blueblood well in hoof (she's well aware that the Prince has trod onto ground no pony dares to). Thus, she turns aside and speaks with Tweed. "I believe you might be looking for somepony like me, then, Dr. Tweed. I am published in a number of journals myself, though admitedly my subject-matter is...quite esoteric."
Prince Blueblood rears up, puffing out his chest ever more the longer Marble rages at him until he looks like he's about to transform into a balloon. The Prince lets out little spurts of breath when the word 'associate' rolls off Marble's tongue. "Pppt. Ppt! Pt!" he says, about to practically explode he's so red in the face from a pony of lower rank trying to get uppity with him, and then remembers that this pony's in charge of his precious, precious finances. Oooh, Luna, you sly dog. Slave my allowance to this little pedant, will you! He slowly lets out the breath again without letting out a stream of obscenities, which really is quite an accomplishment for Blueblood. "Basics," he mutters under his breath. "Basics. *Basics.* All right. All right! You have won. I'll suffer these depredations to my royal person, if only to satisfy Royal Decree! Do you hear that, Marble Malooper Mebble-webble or whatever your name is? I am *only*, ONLY doing this because of the Princess' command." He leans down and shoves his head against Marble's. "Because I. Am. A. PRINCE."
Tweed_Patches's card lists his name in it's full, absurd, double-barreled glory: Dr Brittlegum Wilberforce Harris-Tweed DD, PhD, associate professor of Natural Magic, Princess' College, Dambridge. He gives Marble his blandest smile before blinking rapidly, looking to Blueblood. How could he have failed to notice the unicorn, particularly a unicorn with such a big mo- He squeaks to himself as Nightshade breaks in on his thoughts and turns to look at her, favoring her with another smile, "Oh! Well, I say. Seems I only needed to come up the hill to find ponies to talk to. Pleased very much! But please, please, call me Tweedy. We're ponies of learning, we needn't stand on ceremony! But, please. Esoteric? Say all! I burn to hear."
Marble's a dad. He's got three kids, he loves all three, and he knows a tantrum when he sees one. First rule of a tantrum: Let them get it off their chest. Second rule, stay calm, and reassert you know best and you are making the decision for their own good. "Not today. Not for the next week. And if you hope to cross the threshold to being a good prince everypony can respect from the side of being, and may Luna and Celestia forgive my parlance, a spoiled brat with a title, you'll learn how to serve. That's right, I said *serve.* Ask any of the Princesses and they'll tell you their job is hard work. You get perks, but there's the responsibility. You look after your ponies. Be loyal to those loyal to you, and always be ready to work hard and *learn.* Understand? Right now, Blueblood, I don't care if you are a prince. I care about one thing, encouraging you to cross that threshold. I want you to learn. I want you to *want* to learn or I'm going to end up wasting an otherwise productive week I could have spent with my wife and my foals."
Marble takes a deep breath, keeping calm. He turns to tweed. "Now... where was I? How could we help you? Do you need us to retrieve something?"
Nightshade is happy to oblige and let Marble handle the foals. "A welcome, ah, 'Tweedy'. My speciality is the study of pre-Elementalist magical techniques such as runes, ley conduits, and Nominology. In particular I have been studying the innate capacity of all ponies to be attuned to the Aether."
Tweed_Patches opens his eyes a little wider as he listens to Nightshade, nodding quickly, "I see, I see! It seems we work along similar lines! While I've not touched on ley lines, I have done a small amount of work on runes - I worked with a fellow who was doing research on pre-classical solar worship, and connections to creation myth of the moose. Fascinating stuff! Wooden houses of worship made to stand in for the mythic worldtree, where the survivors or the end-times found refuge from the wrath of the gods. Fonts, cypts, fascinating stuff! He knew my work on the semiology of the Ars Manga, which I admit has little bearing on runes, but symbols are symbols, after all and... Uh..." He blinks a few times, finally noticing Marble. He holds up a hoof to Nightshade, "Pardon me, just a second?" Then smiles to Marble again, "Uh, yes - I had met a pony in - uh - That town down at the bottom of the hill. Filly, actually, claimed not to be able to feel anything at all. Grew very standoffish when I said I'd like to ask her some questions - there had been some tests she'd participated in? I was wondering if there was any chance of finding those records, and reviewing them. Fascinating stuff! I'd like to see what the record had to say."
Prince Blueblood almost can't believe what he's hearing. Somepony is telling him that he must *improve?* What? Is... is that a thing Princes do? He looks down at Marble and snorts. "Well. If you're going to talk *down* to me..." he says with a little huff. "Everypony around here thinks I don't understand what it is to be a Prince! But I do! And you know what? I'll show you! I'll show you all!" He prances away, putting his hoof in the air. "Do you hear me, Mabble Blabble Whoever?! I'll show you! I'll do your stupid, degrading, menial tasks, and they will be the best you've ever seen! Then you'll see! You'll *all* see! Nopony will make fun of me again! Ever!" And with that, without even waiting to hear what task Marble has for him, he trots off with his nose in the air.
Marble watches as the prince trots away before Marble even gives him a task to do. What is he going to do, walk into Marble's office and stare blankly at the filing cabinets until realization sets in? Marble facehooves and sheakes his head. The first of what is likely many headaches to come is already setting in. He listens to Tweed's description of the filly, and after a moment's thought, he says, "That sounds like Diamond Dancer. W-wait here, I'll try and teach Blueblood how to use my filing system and I'll get you all the public records for the filly in question." The pegasus stallion begins to trot after Blueblood to make sure nothing disastrous follows.
