Post by Rarity on Apr 22, 2012 4:18:13 GMT -5
Dear Twilight Sparkle
As much as we, the citizens of Ponyville enjoy that you have moved into the library to become the new tenant, there are a number of concerns that have been raised, that we should like to address to you. Number one, before you were a resident of Ponyville, we never had to deal with giant 3 headed dogs. Ever. This is kind of a big deal. Two: Three weeks ago, my child went to the library to borrow "Hop on Pop" and was nearly trampled when your live in dragon 'friend' transformed into a hideous beast and ripped apart town. Please observe future leash laws as they are posted. Three. During Winter-Wrap up last year, we noticed you brought a tractor to life. Now, I don't know how things are done in Canterlot around that time of year, but observing the moral implications of creating life and letting it roam free without any regard for it's actions if very irresponsible. The conversation I had with my child revolving around "What that tractor was doing to that other tractor" was VERY uncomfortable. Also the tractor ran over Ms. Peterson's daughter, so there's that too. Four. Before you arrived, our town had never been driven to post-apcolyptic levels of brutal gladiator styled combat over a doll. And on that subject, while we aren't sure what caused the raving shrieks of paranoia from you that 'the sun is ticking!!' the town should like to inform you, that the use of recreational drugs in the library is strictly forbidden. Five. Please stop giving Rainbow Dash Daring-Do Novels. PLEASE. My roof can't deal with another crash from her trying to preform fictional manuvers in a book for ten year olds. Six. We'd ALSO like to remind you, that Time Travel is ALSO strictly forbidden, and we never had a time travel paradox in town before you arrived. Seven. Seriously, Changelings? What the hell, Twilight?! We don't know HOW this is your fault, but stop it! JUST STOP IT! Some of us have to go to work tomorrow!
~ Yours truly, Ponyville.
PS. Even through Mr. Spirits, the wine salespony has never been happier with our new rampant alcoholism due to your daily, life threatening shenanigans, we still want you to GTFO. Thanks.
As much as we, the citizens of Ponyville enjoy that you have moved into the library to become the new tenant, there are a number of concerns that have been raised, that we should like to address to you. Number one, before you were a resident of Ponyville, we never had to deal with giant 3 headed dogs. Ever. This is kind of a big deal. Two: Three weeks ago, my child went to the library to borrow "Hop on Pop" and was nearly trampled when your live in dragon 'friend' transformed into a hideous beast and ripped apart town. Please observe future leash laws as they are posted. Three. During Winter-Wrap up last year, we noticed you brought a tractor to life. Now, I don't know how things are done in Canterlot around that time of year, but observing the moral implications of creating life and letting it roam free without any regard for it's actions if very irresponsible. The conversation I had with my child revolving around "What that tractor was doing to that other tractor" was VERY uncomfortable. Also the tractor ran over Ms. Peterson's daughter, so there's that too. Four. Before you arrived, our town had never been driven to post-apcolyptic levels of brutal gladiator styled combat over a doll. And on that subject, while we aren't sure what caused the raving shrieks of paranoia from you that 'the sun is ticking!!' the town should like to inform you, that the use of recreational drugs in the library is strictly forbidden. Five. Please stop giving Rainbow Dash Daring-Do Novels. PLEASE. My roof can't deal with another crash from her trying to preform fictional manuvers in a book for ten year olds. Six. We'd ALSO like to remind you, that Time Travel is ALSO strictly forbidden, and we never had a time travel paradox in town before you arrived. Seven. Seriously, Changelings? What the hell, Twilight?! We don't know HOW this is your fault, but stop it! JUST STOP IT! Some of us have to go to work tomorrow!
~ Yours truly, Ponyville.
PS. Even through Mr. Spirits, the wine salespony has never been happier with our new rampant alcoholism due to your daily, life threatening shenanigans, we still want you to GTFO. Thanks.
