Post by Tejene on Aug 13, 2012 22:10:39 GMT -5
(All the baking goods around Ponyville have been stolen. This is causing problems at Sugarcube Corner. Hence....)
Derpy lets her forebody sag and her head fall to the counter. Her nose scrapes along the edge until she drops out of sight, and then she pops up again, energized and disturbed. "But cannot have no bake! What if sweets?? What if long day work and no treat to have??"
Pinkie_Pie tears at her hair. "You're right! It's even worse than I thought! What are we gonna doooo with no sweets? What am *I* gonna do??"
Derpy starts to sniffle. She crawls to a table and, with some difficulty, sits at a stool and sprawls on the table. "Ev-e-ry day," she says. "If not mail? Then couri. If not couri?" Her voice breaks. "Then mail! And all for Dinky! And me! And Poniies!" She eyes the bakery counter. "But how can keep? Only ask. Only muffin. Or bar. Or tart. Or sweet. Only ask!!"
Pinkie_Pie rummages behind the counter feverishly. Brightening, she produces a single muffin, glowing softly like the GOD OF MUFF. "The last one!"
The door swings open. Sunlight beams through! A band plays in the background! Ponyville is saved! Then the marching band keeps going down the street and some regular `ol pegasus steps in. The sun even ducks behind a cloud. Nomad takes a breath of the sweet, sweet air in the shop and sighs wistfully. "Ah, Sugarcube Corner. I haven't been in here since I was just a little colt." He is as it stands, for the moment completely oblivious to the crisis at hoof.
Derpy raises her head as if pulled by invisible strings. She focuses with effort on it. Not even desiring yet...just trying to process. But the door opens and a customer enters. For some reason this brings great sadness to the mailmare. Maybe she foresees how unsatisfied the newcomer will be. But for now, she says nothing, letting Pinkie handle her business.
Pinkie_Pie charges toward Nomad, waving her arms frantically. "No no no not open! We're suffering emrgency - emrgency - ZOMBIES! Yes! Zombies! BLAAAARGH!" she yells, face contorting. "Look out! Run! No cupcakes! Only zombies!" The GOD MUFFIN remains on the counter, alluring.
Nomad has his zen of snacks completely destroyed by a raging Pinkie, as it should be. He goes from zero to WHAT in under a second. Unfortunately startling the poor guy results in a reflexive step backward and flare of the wings. Which means he can't get out the door (ie, flee) when they're open. He summons all the (very little) training he ever received in Canterlot (not guard training, really. He's a surveyor), gathers his wits, takes Pinkie by the shoulders and shouts! "GOOOD GRACIOUS GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF PONY. WE WILL TRAIN THE ZOMBIES TO FIND THE CUPCAKES!"
Derpy runs around the establishment, panicking at the threat of zombies. "NOOOoOoOOOoO!!" She bonks into a wall and sends a clatter of baking tins and miitts down from the shelf above it, and is consumed by the cascade.
Pinkie_Pie brightens at Nomad. "That's brilliant!" she beams at him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "With the bakery defended by the zombies, thieves will never dare to take my baked goods, or even my baked bads!"
Nomad drops neatly to his hooves, wings folded and not a feather out of place. Just like that. Fwip! He smiles brightly! "Of course it's a brilliant idea! It's a brilliant idea?" He blushes brightly because that's what awkward pegasi do in such situations. "But really what's going on? And more immediately, what happened to your shelf and wasn't there another pony in here?" He gestures vaguely to the heap of derp.
Derpy stirs with a broken groan. Muffin tins and silicon baking trays shift slightly from the pile. A gray wing emerges.
Pinkie_Pie ooohs, and sniffs at the pile of pots and pans and tins and mitts. "There still might be one! Im' not sure... ahhh! Zombie wing!" she gasps, jumping back in alarm. She throws the LAST MUFFIN at it! It is her only weapon!
Time itself seems to slow down. Nomad watches in abject uh.. confusion as the LAST MUFFIN hurtles at breakneck toss toward the Derp. Muf-uf-uf-uf .. in-in-in-in.. cha-cha-cha-cha.. *dink*
The muffins strikes the gray wing, which instantly clamps down upon it. There is a moment of stillness. Then the wing slowly rumbles itself back into the pile, absorbing The Last Muffin with it.
Pinkie_Pie eyes the pile cautiously. "Perhaps it has been satiated? We have fufilled its craving for brans!" she declares.
Nomad declares success! "Success!" He pumps a hoof victoriously into the air and trots over to the pile of stuff, leaning in and gingerly picking a few pans and whatnot off the fallen muffin conquistador. "Actually I think it's just the mail mare."
Derpy is indeed curled up in there, hindlegs tucked up, and is cutely munching on The Last Muffin when she's revealed. She briskly waves a foreleg at Nomad when he peeks in.
Pinkie_Pie beams. "Derpy! I was afraid the zombies might have gotten you. You haven't seen any, have you?" She nudges more of the kitchen debris out of the way.
Derpy climbs out from the pile of junk. She shakes her head a few times and takes another bite. "Probably safe for now," she says once her mouth is only half full.
Nomad helpfully clears a little more stuff out of the way. "Righto. So what's all this panic about? Zombies and stuff, and you folks seem a bit short on baked goods? Did you just finish a big sale or something?"
Pinkie_Pie looks stricken again. "All my stuff! It's missing! Well, sizeable portions of it! It's been stolen, perhaps by zombie ponies, who are well known for craving material goods, flour, and lard!"
Derpy frowns all over again. She reaches out and sets the remaining half a muffin on a table, and looks sadly at Pinkie and Nomad. "But any zom-bee? Not have smelt." She looks at the pile of fallen stuff and frowns anew, bending an ear. "If last muffin part help, please enjoy," she says, beckoning to the faintly glowing pastry.
His gaze shifts. That muffin. Well. That half of a muffin. It looks AMAZING. "Stolen? What do you mean stolen? I mean. I'm no guard pony but stolen?" Nomad manages to look even /more/ confused. "And I thought the zombie ponies couldn't get out of Tartarus because of the huge dog guard."
Pinkie_Pie warns you, "Zombie ponies are sneaky! They do a lot of thinking with all those brains, yanno. And stolen means 'taken without permission', which is what happened to my cooking stuff!"
Derpy looks around. She picks up one of the bundt cake tins and places it gingerly with her mouth onto the shelf. Derpy is done cleaning up for now. She sits again on a stool. "But no cluue?" she asks. "Can re-stock? Neew things?"
Nomad ahs! "Oh! Well that makes perfect sense." Does it? "But zombie ponies only want more brains, don't they? I really haven't researched this. I didn't know they had to cook the brains, but that would explain all the missing stuff and the lack of pastries. Speaking of which, do you have any fudge left? I like peanut butter fudge so much my feathers are turning brown." That was a pun. A terrible, terrible pun. He should feel bad. "Is anypony else missing stuff or was it just your kitchen?" He leans toward a window, as if to listen for the horrified wails of cooks all over Ponyville.
Pinkie_Pie tells Derpy, "I could normally, but everyone else is missing stuff, too! Even the people who make the lard and the pans to begin with! So everyone is buying new things all at once and there's NONE LEFT for like whole DAYS!" as it happens, this answers Nomad's question, too. Handy!
Derpy slumps further. And surges! And slumps. And surges!! "ALLL stolen??" Her eyes roll about at the magnitutde of the crime. "Can...can guard find? Tell May-or?? Must solve!" She leaps to her feet.
Nomad looks.. lost. Totally, completely lost. Broken. Sad. Terrible things all at once. "Eight.. months.. in the badlands.. and when I come back somepony has stolen all the baking supplies and... there isn't any peanut butter fudge for anypony.." His lower lip quivers. Then in a moment he gets a fierce expression, a sunburst radiates from behind! The music cues. "THIS CRIME CANNOT GO UNPUNISHED!" The marching band goes past in the other direction, what ARE they doing out there anyway? "Ooh. guard ponies. That is a good idea. Did they ever get to putting a division here in Ponyville?"
Pinkie_Pie's response will remain forever a mystery! THe tragic lack of sugared goods has hit her, and she is passed out snoring, drooling on the counter.
Derpy looks confused and unsure. "Maybe? Guards? Yes, some guards. For town!" She rushes out the door and back in. "Must find sugar! Find peanut! Find butter!" She pales and rushes out again.
Nomad is left standing there while Derpy runs in and out in a mad panic. He raises a hoof, opens his mouth. Then pauses. Closes his mouth, puts the hoof down, and shakes his head. He peers at the unconscious Pinky, and at Derpyblur, shakes his head, and strolls out the front door. He can be heard to mumble lightly, "It just keeps getting weirder.."
Derpy lets her forebody sag and her head fall to the counter. Her nose scrapes along the edge until she drops out of sight, and then she pops up again, energized and disturbed. "But cannot have no bake! What if sweets?? What if long day work and no treat to have??"
Pinkie_Pie tears at her hair. "You're right! It's even worse than I thought! What are we gonna doooo with no sweets? What am *I* gonna do??"
Derpy starts to sniffle. She crawls to a table and, with some difficulty, sits at a stool and sprawls on the table. "Ev-e-ry day," she says. "If not mail? Then couri. If not couri?" Her voice breaks. "Then mail! And all for Dinky! And me! And Poniies!" She eyes the bakery counter. "But how can keep? Only ask. Only muffin. Or bar. Or tart. Or sweet. Only ask!!"
Pinkie_Pie rummages behind the counter feverishly. Brightening, she produces a single muffin, glowing softly like the GOD OF MUFF. "The last one!"
The door swings open. Sunlight beams through! A band plays in the background! Ponyville is saved! Then the marching band keeps going down the street and some regular `ol pegasus steps in. The sun even ducks behind a cloud. Nomad takes a breath of the sweet, sweet air in the shop and sighs wistfully. "Ah, Sugarcube Corner. I haven't been in here since I was just a little colt." He is as it stands, for the moment completely oblivious to the crisis at hoof.
Derpy raises her head as if pulled by invisible strings. She focuses with effort on it. Not even desiring yet...just trying to process. But the door opens and a customer enters. For some reason this brings great sadness to the mailmare. Maybe she foresees how unsatisfied the newcomer will be. But for now, she says nothing, letting Pinkie handle her business.
Pinkie_Pie charges toward Nomad, waving her arms frantically. "No no no not open! We're suffering emrgency - emrgency - ZOMBIES! Yes! Zombies! BLAAAARGH!" she yells, face contorting. "Look out! Run! No cupcakes! Only zombies!" The GOD MUFFIN remains on the counter, alluring.
Nomad has his zen of snacks completely destroyed by a raging Pinkie, as it should be. He goes from zero to WHAT in under a second. Unfortunately startling the poor guy results in a reflexive step backward and flare of the wings. Which means he can't get out the door (ie, flee) when they're open. He summons all the (very little) training he ever received in Canterlot (not guard training, really. He's a surveyor), gathers his wits, takes Pinkie by the shoulders and shouts! "GOOOD GRACIOUS GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF PONY. WE WILL TRAIN THE ZOMBIES TO FIND THE CUPCAKES!"
Derpy runs around the establishment, panicking at the threat of zombies. "NOOOoOoOOOoO!!" She bonks into a wall and sends a clatter of baking tins and miitts down from the shelf above it, and is consumed by the cascade.
Pinkie_Pie brightens at Nomad. "That's brilliant!" she beams at him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "With the bakery defended by the zombies, thieves will never dare to take my baked goods, or even my baked bads!"
Nomad drops neatly to his hooves, wings folded and not a feather out of place. Just like that. Fwip! He smiles brightly! "Of course it's a brilliant idea! It's a brilliant idea?" He blushes brightly because that's what awkward pegasi do in such situations. "But really what's going on? And more immediately, what happened to your shelf and wasn't there another pony in here?" He gestures vaguely to the heap of derp.
Derpy stirs with a broken groan. Muffin tins and silicon baking trays shift slightly from the pile. A gray wing emerges.
Pinkie_Pie ooohs, and sniffs at the pile of pots and pans and tins and mitts. "There still might be one! Im' not sure... ahhh! Zombie wing!" she gasps, jumping back in alarm. She throws the LAST MUFFIN at it! It is her only weapon!
Time itself seems to slow down. Nomad watches in abject uh.. confusion as the LAST MUFFIN hurtles at breakneck toss toward the Derp. Muf-uf-uf-uf .. in-in-in-in.. cha-cha-cha-cha.. *dink*
The muffins strikes the gray wing, which instantly clamps down upon it. There is a moment of stillness. Then the wing slowly rumbles itself back into the pile, absorbing The Last Muffin with it.
Pinkie_Pie eyes the pile cautiously. "Perhaps it has been satiated? We have fufilled its craving for brans!" she declares.
Nomad declares success! "Success!" He pumps a hoof victoriously into the air and trots over to the pile of stuff, leaning in and gingerly picking a few pans and whatnot off the fallen muffin conquistador. "Actually I think it's just the mail mare."
Derpy is indeed curled up in there, hindlegs tucked up, and is cutely munching on The Last Muffin when she's revealed. She briskly waves a foreleg at Nomad when he peeks in.
Pinkie_Pie beams. "Derpy! I was afraid the zombies might have gotten you. You haven't seen any, have you?" She nudges more of the kitchen debris out of the way.
Derpy climbs out from the pile of junk. She shakes her head a few times and takes another bite. "Probably safe for now," she says once her mouth is only half full.
Nomad helpfully clears a little more stuff out of the way. "Righto. So what's all this panic about? Zombies and stuff, and you folks seem a bit short on baked goods? Did you just finish a big sale or something?"
Pinkie_Pie looks stricken again. "All my stuff! It's missing! Well, sizeable portions of it! It's been stolen, perhaps by zombie ponies, who are well known for craving material goods, flour, and lard!"
Derpy frowns all over again. She reaches out and sets the remaining half a muffin on a table, and looks sadly at Pinkie and Nomad. "But any zom-bee? Not have smelt." She looks at the pile of fallen stuff and frowns anew, bending an ear. "If last muffin part help, please enjoy," she says, beckoning to the faintly glowing pastry.
His gaze shifts. That muffin. Well. That half of a muffin. It looks AMAZING. "Stolen? What do you mean stolen? I mean. I'm no guard pony but stolen?" Nomad manages to look even /more/ confused. "And I thought the zombie ponies couldn't get out of Tartarus because of the huge dog guard."
Pinkie_Pie warns you, "Zombie ponies are sneaky! They do a lot of thinking with all those brains, yanno. And stolen means 'taken without permission', which is what happened to my cooking stuff!"
Derpy looks around. She picks up one of the bundt cake tins and places it gingerly with her mouth onto the shelf. Derpy is done cleaning up for now. She sits again on a stool. "But no cluue?" she asks. "Can re-stock? Neew things?"
Nomad ahs! "Oh! Well that makes perfect sense." Does it? "But zombie ponies only want more brains, don't they? I really haven't researched this. I didn't know they had to cook the brains, but that would explain all the missing stuff and the lack of pastries. Speaking of which, do you have any fudge left? I like peanut butter fudge so much my feathers are turning brown." That was a pun. A terrible, terrible pun. He should feel bad. "Is anypony else missing stuff or was it just your kitchen?" He leans toward a window, as if to listen for the horrified wails of cooks all over Ponyville.
Pinkie_Pie tells Derpy, "I could normally, but everyone else is missing stuff, too! Even the people who make the lard and the pans to begin with! So everyone is buying new things all at once and there's NONE LEFT for like whole DAYS!" as it happens, this answers Nomad's question, too. Handy!
Derpy slumps further. And surges! And slumps. And surges!! "ALLL stolen??" Her eyes roll about at the magnitutde of the crime. "Can...can guard find? Tell May-or?? Must solve!" She leaps to her feet.
Nomad looks.. lost. Totally, completely lost. Broken. Sad. Terrible things all at once. "Eight.. months.. in the badlands.. and when I come back somepony has stolen all the baking supplies and... there isn't any peanut butter fudge for anypony.." His lower lip quivers. Then in a moment he gets a fierce expression, a sunburst radiates from behind! The music cues. "THIS CRIME CANNOT GO UNPUNISHED!" The marching band goes past in the other direction, what ARE they doing out there anyway? "Ooh. guard ponies. That is a good idea. Did they ever get to putting a division here in Ponyville?"
Pinkie_Pie's response will remain forever a mystery! THe tragic lack of sugared goods has hit her, and she is passed out snoring, drooling on the counter.
Derpy looks confused and unsure. "Maybe? Guards? Yes, some guards. For town!" She rushes out the door and back in. "Must find sugar! Find peanut! Find butter!" She pales and rushes out again.
Nomad is left standing there while Derpy runs in and out in a mad panic. He raises a hoof, opens his mouth. Then pauses. Closes his mouth, puts the hoof down, and shakes his head. He peers at the unconscious Pinky, and at Derpyblur, shakes his head, and strolls out the front door. He can be heard to mumble lightly, "It just keeps getting weirder.."