Post by Bardigan on May 7, 2014 2:21:05 GMT -5
In which Marble has the great idea to send Blueblood to Ponyville. Blueblood takes it with his usual grace and aplomb.
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Canterlot is definitely a pleasurable enough place for Marble. Well. Usually it is. Well, almost always. Well, when Blueblood is not with him. Heck, Canterlot would be a wonderful place to live if there was no Blueblood anywhere. Did Marble ever mention he's feeling moderately frustrated with Blueblood?
"Why are we here?" "I can't see the castle from here, I think we're lost." "Are we there yet?" "Can't we just do more paperwork?" "I'm hungry." That's what Marble has been dealing with. Every step out of the castle, which Blueblood almost never leaves except when it's to bask in attention like at the Games, he has been complaining and trying not to look at the "common" ponies everywhere. His latest beef with the outside world? "That sandwich should have been free for a Prince!" he gripes as he walks away from a deli. "Can you *believe* he insisted I pay *twelve bits*? Look at this! The ingredients aren't even fresh!"
"It was fresh *before* you started trying to haggle that poor pony out of his livelihood there." Marble says. HE's perhaps a little crancky since Blueblood demolished his coffee that morning. "Today for your lessons, you're going to learn how your so-called 'inferiors' live. Today you'll have a normal lunch, play normal games, sleep in a normal bed, make normal conversation, and maybe, just maybe, make normal friends."
"I'm already eating a normal lunch, and I hate it," Blueblood grumbles, taking big, spiteful bites of the sandwich. If that thief is going to fleece him out of hard earned bits, he's going to darn well *eat* the *whole thing.* Even if it makes his royal stomach queasy. But then his eyes bug out and he nearly chokes. "Wait. *Sleep?* In a bed? We're..." He looks about frightfully, edging closer to Marble. "We're going to sleep out here?! Away from the castle? All night?"
"Two nights actually. We've been saddled with some work outside of Canterlot, but I figured I'd ease you into it. On the plus side it's just to Ponyville, so you'll be staying at my real home for a night. I hope you like DJ-PON3." Marble explains and taps at the cup of coffee he ordered. Maybe Blueblood's right about this particular food vendor, though. "They're not high society, but I promise the food is actually in many cases *better* than palace fare if you let your tastes adventure a bit."
Blueblood is hyperventilating. His big buff chest puffs in and out, and he grabs a nearby paper bag from a passing school filly and starts breathing heavily into it. "All the way to *Ponyville?!*" he squeaks. "But.. but that's... that's where..." The Prince's eyes bug out, and he suddenly leans in very close, snatching Marble around the shoulders and mashing their faces together. "SHE lives," he hisses under his breath, eyes darting back and forth.
Marble appears to be very confused. He was, unfortunately, not in Canterlot during that fateful Grand Galloping Gala or he'd know what's going on. "Um... First off, calm down, and second off, what are you talking about?" Marble pushes away from Blueblood.
"You don't know? Y-You don't remember?!" Blueblood sputters, his voice broken up by a rising, uncontrollable chuckling. His eyes go a little unfocused as he ducks almost completely under the table. "Heh heh... the... the night of the Gala? Hee hee... when... when that alabaster *harridan* came?!" He zips under the table and pokes his head out the other side, so stricken with sheer terror he ignores the old gum getting in his mane. "Th-the mare whose friends nearly destroyed the entire celebration? Who single-handedly made me look the biggest fool in all of Equestria with naught but a cake and her forked devil tongue?! THAT MARE, MARBLE, THAT! MARE!" He slips under the table again. "I'm not going anywhere near Ponyville! Not while she's in it! You can't make me!"
MArble seems unphassed by Blueblood's pathetic display of... patheticness. Still, he needs Blueblood's attention. "Oh, for Celestia's sake, *pull* *yourself* *together!*" The bureuacrat marches over to Blueblood's chair at the table, pulls it aside and taptaps Blueblood on the back. "Are you a mouse or are you a stallion?"
"Can't I be both?" Blueblood whimpers.
"No. You have to choose. Either way, you can come to me to Ponyville and not be pathetic, or you could come with me and be humiliated. Either way you're coming to Ponyville." Marble says. "Or I could let a bunch of photographers get a picture of you under here because you can't act like a grown-up around Rarity."
Blueblood seems determined. If Marble is going to drag him to Ponyville, he's going to earn it. "I already suffer through the bureaucratic nightmare of our tax system!" he says. "I refuse to get out from under this table. So there!" And he crosses his hooves, puts on his best princely pout, and sits.
Marble sighs, staring at Blueblood down there. He then takes flight and lands on top of the table and shouts, "HEY EVERYPONY! DO YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING FUNNY?!"
Blueblood gives the bottom of the table the most evil stink eye he possibly can. Perhaps if he can focus enough sheer hatred, the table will burst into flame! But instead Marble might feel his hooves get a teensy bit warmer. "Marble I swear if you do this I will personally commission an entire TEAM of new accountants JUST to keep you from getting to do paperwork!" he hisses through gritted teeth.
"Assuming you can get past all the press after this. Do you want me to finish calling everypony from the next few streets over or are you going to come out and play in Ponyville?" Marble demands.
Prince Blueblood is starting to sweat, but he hasn't cracked yet. "Y... I... I'm already in half the tabloids! This means nothing!" he squeaks.
Marble takes a deep breath. And he starts shouting again. "IT'S REALLY AMUSING! AND VERY NEWSWORTHY! BRING THE PRESS!"
Ponies are watching. Ponies are watching him, under a dirty table in a filthy part of Canterlot, getting yelled at by a scrawny pegasus and ISTHATACAMERAHECAN'TTAKETHIS- "ENOUGH!" Blueblood shouts, erupting from under the table. He rounds on Marble and points a hoof on his face. "Fine! FINE! You want me to do this? To go and humiliate myself in that backwater town with that witch inside it? I'll go. Oh, I'll go! I'll go. I'll give balloons to foals. I'll pick apples from that disgusting orchard I know they have! I'll judge stupid fair contests and eat horrible food! I will even DANCE to DJ-PON3's INSIPID music! But if you ask me to spend even a SECOND alone in a room with THAT MARE... oooh, ho ho ho! The gloves are off! I will make your life a living Tartarus! Just push me one more inch! Do you hear me, Marble? You are embarrasing the wrong! Prince!" He punctuates that with a rough poke in the chest... ignoring the crowd his ranting his brought him.
Marble smiles. "Great! See, I knew you could grow if given enough opportunity." Marble says encouragingly. "Oh, by the way." Marble leans forward, right into Blueblood's eyes. "IF you *ever* insult my wife again..." He leaves that out in the open. Incomplete.
Prince Blueblood glares back. "I wasn't insulting her. I was insulting her *taste.* Which apparently most Ponyvillians lack!" He does end up blinking first and looking away, dropping down onto his flanks like an oversized foal. "Uggggh. Do you *promise* it won't be more than a couple of days?"
"That depends on how you act. If you're good, yes. If not, then I'm sure it'll be an eternity. For both of us," Marble adds under his breath.
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Canterlot is definitely a pleasurable enough place for Marble. Well. Usually it is. Well, almost always. Well, when Blueblood is not with him. Heck, Canterlot would be a wonderful place to live if there was no Blueblood anywhere. Did Marble ever mention he's feeling moderately frustrated with Blueblood?
"Why are we here?" "I can't see the castle from here, I think we're lost." "Are we there yet?" "Can't we just do more paperwork?" "I'm hungry." That's what Marble has been dealing with. Every step out of the castle, which Blueblood almost never leaves except when it's to bask in attention like at the Games, he has been complaining and trying not to look at the "common" ponies everywhere. His latest beef with the outside world? "That sandwich should have been free for a Prince!" he gripes as he walks away from a deli. "Can you *believe* he insisted I pay *twelve bits*? Look at this! The ingredients aren't even fresh!"
"It was fresh *before* you started trying to haggle that poor pony out of his livelihood there." Marble says. HE's perhaps a little crancky since Blueblood demolished his coffee that morning. "Today for your lessons, you're going to learn how your so-called 'inferiors' live. Today you'll have a normal lunch, play normal games, sleep in a normal bed, make normal conversation, and maybe, just maybe, make normal friends."
"I'm already eating a normal lunch, and I hate it," Blueblood grumbles, taking big, spiteful bites of the sandwich. If that thief is going to fleece him out of hard earned bits, he's going to darn well *eat* the *whole thing.* Even if it makes his royal stomach queasy. But then his eyes bug out and he nearly chokes. "Wait. *Sleep?* In a bed? We're..." He looks about frightfully, edging closer to Marble. "We're going to sleep out here?! Away from the castle? All night?"
"Two nights actually. We've been saddled with some work outside of Canterlot, but I figured I'd ease you into it. On the plus side it's just to Ponyville, so you'll be staying at my real home for a night. I hope you like DJ-PON3." Marble explains and taps at the cup of coffee he ordered. Maybe Blueblood's right about this particular food vendor, though. "They're not high society, but I promise the food is actually in many cases *better* than palace fare if you let your tastes adventure a bit."
Blueblood is hyperventilating. His big buff chest puffs in and out, and he grabs a nearby paper bag from a passing school filly and starts breathing heavily into it. "All the way to *Ponyville?!*" he squeaks. "But.. but that's... that's where..." The Prince's eyes bug out, and he suddenly leans in very close, snatching Marble around the shoulders and mashing their faces together. "SHE lives," he hisses under his breath, eyes darting back and forth.
Marble appears to be very confused. He was, unfortunately, not in Canterlot during that fateful Grand Galloping Gala or he'd know what's going on. "Um... First off, calm down, and second off, what are you talking about?" Marble pushes away from Blueblood.
"You don't know? Y-You don't remember?!" Blueblood sputters, his voice broken up by a rising, uncontrollable chuckling. His eyes go a little unfocused as he ducks almost completely under the table. "Heh heh... the... the night of the Gala? Hee hee... when... when that alabaster *harridan* came?!" He zips under the table and pokes his head out the other side, so stricken with sheer terror he ignores the old gum getting in his mane. "Th-the mare whose friends nearly destroyed the entire celebration? Who single-handedly made me look the biggest fool in all of Equestria with naught but a cake and her forked devil tongue?! THAT MARE, MARBLE, THAT! MARE!" He slips under the table again. "I'm not going anywhere near Ponyville! Not while she's in it! You can't make me!"
MArble seems unphassed by Blueblood's pathetic display of... patheticness. Still, he needs Blueblood's attention. "Oh, for Celestia's sake, *pull* *yourself* *together!*" The bureuacrat marches over to Blueblood's chair at the table, pulls it aside and taptaps Blueblood on the back. "Are you a mouse or are you a stallion?"
"Can't I be both?" Blueblood whimpers.
"No. You have to choose. Either way, you can come to me to Ponyville and not be pathetic, or you could come with me and be humiliated. Either way you're coming to Ponyville." Marble says. "Or I could let a bunch of photographers get a picture of you under here because you can't act like a grown-up around Rarity."
Blueblood seems determined. If Marble is going to drag him to Ponyville, he's going to earn it. "I already suffer through the bureaucratic nightmare of our tax system!" he says. "I refuse to get out from under this table. So there!" And he crosses his hooves, puts on his best princely pout, and sits.
Marble sighs, staring at Blueblood down there. He then takes flight and lands on top of the table and shouts, "HEY EVERYPONY! DO YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING FUNNY?!"
Blueblood gives the bottom of the table the most evil stink eye he possibly can. Perhaps if he can focus enough sheer hatred, the table will burst into flame! But instead Marble might feel his hooves get a teensy bit warmer. "Marble I swear if you do this I will personally commission an entire TEAM of new accountants JUST to keep you from getting to do paperwork!" he hisses through gritted teeth.
"Assuming you can get past all the press after this. Do you want me to finish calling everypony from the next few streets over or are you going to come out and play in Ponyville?" Marble demands.
Prince Blueblood is starting to sweat, but he hasn't cracked yet. "Y... I... I'm already in half the tabloids! This means nothing!" he squeaks.
Marble takes a deep breath. And he starts shouting again. "IT'S REALLY AMUSING! AND VERY NEWSWORTHY! BRING THE PRESS!"
Ponies are watching. Ponies are watching him, under a dirty table in a filthy part of Canterlot, getting yelled at by a scrawny pegasus and ISTHATACAMERAHECAN'TTAKETHIS- "ENOUGH!" Blueblood shouts, erupting from under the table. He rounds on Marble and points a hoof on his face. "Fine! FINE! You want me to do this? To go and humiliate myself in that backwater town with that witch inside it? I'll go. Oh, I'll go! I'll go. I'll give balloons to foals. I'll pick apples from that disgusting orchard I know they have! I'll judge stupid fair contests and eat horrible food! I will even DANCE to DJ-PON3's INSIPID music! But if you ask me to spend even a SECOND alone in a room with THAT MARE... oooh, ho ho ho! The gloves are off! I will make your life a living Tartarus! Just push me one more inch! Do you hear me, Marble? You are embarrasing the wrong! Prince!" He punctuates that with a rough poke in the chest... ignoring the crowd his ranting his brought him.
Marble smiles. "Great! See, I knew you could grow if given enough opportunity." Marble says encouragingly. "Oh, by the way." Marble leans forward, right into Blueblood's eyes. "IF you *ever* insult my wife again..." He leaves that out in the open. Incomplete.
Prince Blueblood glares back. "I wasn't insulting her. I was insulting her *taste.* Which apparently most Ponyvillians lack!" He does end up blinking first and looking away, dropping down onto his flanks like an oversized foal. "Uggggh. Do you *promise* it won't be more than a couple of days?"
"That depends on how you act. If you're good, yes. If not, then I'm sure it'll be an eternity. For both of us," Marble adds under his breath.