How Eris earned the Key of Muffins!

[Derpy]

(Setting? Was AIMplay.)

Derpy lies sprawled on the road, mufflers wrapped around her neck and thighs and tied around the base of her tail, mufflers even tied around her wings.
She reaches an extended leg up awkwardly and moooans!

Eris runs over and stops a few feet away! "What... what happened? Are you okay?! Do you need help?"

Derpy looks up, her face a muddled mix of expressions, her eyes derped wide. "Eris! Eriiiis! Am sickly!"

Looking distraught, Eris nods. "W-what's wrong? How're you sickly? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Derpy wavers her foreleg slightly above the road, shaking with weakness or just derpiness. "Am sooo sick. Is Muffler Muck! Can you heelp?"

Never having heard of this disease, Eris presumes the worst and... unwinds one of the mufflers from Derpy. "Does... that help?"

Derpy's eyes switch from wall- to cross-. "Slightfully," she admits. "But ooonnly cure for Muffler Muck? Is muffin." Her leg drops limply to the ground and her head lolls.

Eris blinks, then goes about unwinding the rest of the mufflers. "Is that enough that you think you can walk? You can lean on me and we can walk to the cafe?" she ask-says tentatively.

Derpy shakes loose a few of the mufflers. She draws out a pair of earmuffs and puts them on the side of her head, thankfully below her ears. "Will do. At home? Sadly, no muffin." She shakes her head in melancholy.

Eris puts a sympathetic wing around the filly and nods. After contemplating for a moment, she says, "Well, we might have some at the teahouse! I know Cherry Blossom went to Sugarcube Corner not too long ago."

Derpy flaps her wings a little, though the mufflers around them keep too much air from being disturbed from its flow. "Teahouse," she confirms. "But sadly?" She looks at Eris directly, her eyes even. "No money."

Eris giggles, smiling, and says, "It's okay, Derpy! You can have one for free!" The fledgling ushers the mailmare towards the teahouse. "Have you ever had a butter-fried muffin before?" she asks.

Derpy brightens at the promise and simply licks her lips heavily at the question. She seems to gain energy as they approach the teahouse.

"Well, that means you have, or you like the idea! Either way, I'll make one for you!" Eris opens the door for the filly and beckons her in. When they get in the teahouse, the little griffon disappears behind the counter and some rummaging is heard. "What would you like, Derpy - blueberry, corn, sunflower-seed, or pumpkin muffin? That's all we've got, I'm afraid," she asks.

Derpy stands in the main room for a time. Then she thinks better of it and leans against a wall, two hooves tilted just off the floor. "Sun seed," she pronounces. "Seed is best cure." Again she licks her lips.

From behind the counter, a cast-iron pan is lifted, shakily, by two avian feet, and placed on the stovetop. A few 'thunks' are heard as more wood is thrown in the stove, and then a pat of butter is placed into the pan. Eris then hauls herself up back into view - onto a stool - with a yellowish muffin in-claw. When the butter has melted a bit, the fledgling places the muffin - cut in half, inside down, onto the butter. The fragrant smell of frying sunflower muffin quickly fills the teahouse, and Eris grins.

Derpy winces slightly when the muffin is cut in half, but otherwise she draws closer and closer, halfwound mufflers sagging, and watches the procedure with great and obvious anticipation.

After a few moments, Eris grabs a spatula and transfers the muffin onto a nearby plate. The muffin is warm, having soaked up the melted butter into the halves, and the fried-sides are indeed as such - a nice brown colour with a bit of a crunch. Eris lets it cool for a moment, then moves the plate towards Derpy. "Here you go! One fried sunflower muffin, on the house!"

Derpy is licking her lips and swishing her tail in one direction while her eyes swivel in the other. When the dish is finally placed before her, she dives in with her muzzle and takes a bite. "Mmmm!" It's clearly delicious in the extreme! She chews and chews and chews and swirls in around in her mouth and finally swallows.

Eris looks absolutely delighted and grins. "You like it! Great!" she exclaims. The griffon watches Derpy consume the muffin vigorously for a few moments then asks, "Is your, erm, 'Muffler Muck' feeling any better?"

Derpy shakes all the mufflers off her body, sending them to land everywhere. She shakes off the earmuffs, too. "Have confession," she confides. "Not reeally sick!"

The fledgling mocks shock, then, after a moment, breaks out in a laugh. "I thought so! I'd never /heard/ of Muffler Muck, and, er... well, being wrapped in mufflers isn't normally a problem!" Eris says. Smiling, she continues, "If you'd only wanted a muffin, you should've just said so!"

Derpy smiles and tilts her head eagerly. She draws out from one of the wadded mufflers... a coin! Looks like she was fibbing about having no money, too. But when she plops it on the counter, it's clear this coin has seen better days. It's a gold bit, curled up at the ends and crinkled, with a hole in the top and a cord loop passed through it. A muffin has been drawn on one side. "Have passed friendship test!!" announces Derpy with great pride.

Eris looks a bit confused for a moment and blinks a few times, incredulously. She gingerly picks up the coin pendant by its cord, and holds it up, eyes wide. "This... is for me?" she asks. Her golden eyes look like they're watering up a bit.

Derpy laughs a little, muffin crumbs falling from her teeth. She hurriedly takes another bite, chews, and swallows. "Are truuue friend," she nearly croons. "When sick? Will aid! When hungry? Will muffin."

The little griffon slips the cord around her neck proudly, the muffin'd coin showing to the world on her feathered breast. Eris then drops down from the stool, rushes around the counter, and wraps her little wings and front legs around Derpy and hugs the filly tight with eyes shut. "I'll always aid and muffin, Derpy," she says.

Derpy is astonished by the gesture and jumps back, but is easily caught, and she returns the hug with her own wings, her eyes closed in bliss. When the hug ends, she stands there happily for a while. Then she starts throwing her mufflers over her back, one by one, still smiling.

Eris looks aside and wipes her eyes quickly, then, flashing a smile, helps with grabbing the mufflers and laying them across Derpy's back. "You're a real great filly, Miss Derpy! I'll fry you a muffin any time you want," she says.

Derpy clucks her tongue and sniffs what remains of the friend sunflower seed muffin. "Is soooo good," she reviews. "Very kind Eris. Sometimes friendship is great very treasure." She wraps the muffin in the last muffler and tucks it into a fold in the others. "Good day and be well!" Her wings rise.

When Derpy compliments the muffin, Eris beams. "Mister le Grande used to make those for me!" she cites the origin of it. As the filly continues, Eris nods and says, "Thank you, Derpy! You're pretty great, too!" As Derpy leaves, Eris waves, "Have an awesome day, Miss Derpy, and do watch out for that Muffler Muck!"

Derpy titters with laughter as she flies away, trailing muffler ends. "Will beware!" She hoots merrily as she soars just under the door's lintel and away into the morning.

(As Derpy flies off, the coin-pendant against Eris's breast shimmers brightly for a magical moment.)